Hello everybody.
I need help and I think you guys with all your vast knowledge and experience might help me. Although I'm a bit desperate.
I was diagnosed with OCD 2 years ago (I broke up with a girl, and couldn't stop thinking wheather I did the right thing, even though I didn't care so much for the girl. When I realised I had an issue, I stopped thinking about the girl and started worrying about the fact thah I had OCD. No compulsions, only a lot of thinking. And the feeling of anxiety.
1 year ago I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and no ocd. Because my symptoms changed a lot.
A year ago during a very stressful job interview my neck started twitching. It's been doing it since then. It hurts and its really hard to bear.
Now I notice symptoms that I didn't have when this all started: back pain, fatigue, nervousness, social anxiety. I feel really sick. My ocd is still with me, but is not the number one problem, I can deal with it, even overcome it may be. Now I mostly worry about my neck (its anxiety related, better when I'm resting at home and worse when I'm working).
What I worry most is that I've become really weak, I cannot work for more than couple of hours, my body hurts.
All of this symptoms occured after (not at once though, over time) I tried taking an SSRI (fluvoxamine) and also I took calcium at that time. But I don't think that is relevant. I think that is just was a moment when my anxiety broke down. I was anxious before, at work especially, just my body didn't suffer.
That's my story. The question is: I've found things that help me a lot, but they also make me depressed (or worsen OCD). Why?
Magnesium. When I take magnesium (even the lowest dose like 250 mg of magnesium orotate, what is it, like 100 of elemental at best?) I get a relief instantly. No neck twitching, no body pain, no anxiety and nervousness, I'm very calm. I still feel bad overall, but oh well. That goes on for a couple of happy days, then I get depressed or consumed with OCD thoughts. It doesnt really matter the dose. Wheather I take 100 of elemental or 400, the outcome is the same. I love it, but then I hate it. I think it prolly gives me the serotonin I need, then parathyroyd hormone somehow makes me depressed. Or any other ideas? I tried taking calcium with mag - same effect, may be even worse. Calcium alone worsen my symptoms for sure.
Inositol. Same positive effect as magnesium. But after a week or so I feel like I've had enough serotonin(feeling anxious on the inside, chest anxiety) so I also stopped it. Took too much? I don't know, was taking only 4-6 grams a day. Also, I suspect it worsen my ocd too, just not that sure. Gotta try again.
L-theanine. Used it first time today, Well, it helped me with anxiety, neck and so on. I took 450 g total through the afternoon. Safe dosage is up to 1000 a day they say. In the evening, I'm kinda depressed again. NOt sure, but most likely.
5-htp. It helped, but much less than the above. All that I remember really is waking up easily and more refreshed in the morning, feeling better. No depression though. After two weeks of only 50 mg a day (a very low dose) aslo had the feeling of full serotonin tank (anxiety and so on). Stopped it.
Magnesium and 5-htp together. When I was feeling blue on magnesium, I tried adding 5-htp. It helped, I think, I wasnt depressed. I felt calm (magnesium) and happy (5-htp). But then I felt too much serotonin after only 5 days on the combo. Was taking 400 mg elemental mag and 50 mg 5-htp. After that I couldnt even continue with just magnesium, it also made me anxious (too mush sert).
SSRI. I've tried 3 different SSRI's with no positive effect at all. Usually, they just made my OCD worse.
I've read a lot but I just don't know what to do. That's why I'm here. Any ideas? Will appreciate any feedback.