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[John250]

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Long story short I have symptoms of borderline personality disorder but not 100%. From my research medication doesn?t help borderline personality disorder only cognitive behavioral therapy does. Dr. Put me on 200mg lamictal, 1200mg trileptal as well as vyvanse and Dexedrine to combat lethargy. Previous to this I was on 20mg Lexapro. Total time on lexapro 6 years. Trileptal and lamical 1.5yrs. About 4-6mo ago I decided to wean off everything. Trileptal and lamical I did not notice much at all. No withdrawal no side effects. Lexapro on the other hand was a different story. I tapered by reducing the dose by 5 mg every month until I hit 2.5 mg for a few weeks. Once down to 5mg Lexapro (maybe 3months ago) I noticed I started getting more manic. Also very lethargic. Not anger but a lack of motivation to work yet more motivation to do obsessive research on your neurotransmitters, finding natural cures,etc. procrastination, mild depression(never suicidal) and definitely a increased craving for recreational drugs. Like I?m always trying to find something to take to feel normal. A few weeks ago I bought a pack of American Spirit cigarettes to get energy from nicotine and I found myself smoking like 10 per day. This is where I have to draw the line and do something. I had a prior amphetamine addiction and have weaned off and back on over the past three or four years. If I don?t take some sort of amphetamine in the morning I?m a zombie I can?t even function. When it kicks in it?s the only time I feel normal but I?m trying to reduce my amphetamine use as well. Correct me if I?m wrong but I?m thinking my problems are coming from lack of serotonin. When I look up the difference of depression from serotonin versus dopamine I fit much more traits of serotonin depression. I understand it can take a long time because I was on the Lexapro for so long but what would you guys do if you were in my shoes? It seems like the only supplement that acts on the same serotonin receptors as Lexapro is bacopa. I tried it a few days ago and just felt a little spacey but calm. Then I tried taking it two times a day and was exhausted. I also tried KannaEase and it just made me super tired. I?m trying to figure out how I can get off of everything as that is my goal.

p.s. I noticed towards the early evening I get very brain foggy and dizzy. A low dose benzodiazepam seems to take it away but I definitely am not getting hooked on that. Also what’s odd is around eight or 9 o’clock at night when the kids are in bed and the wife is asleep and I have free time to just watch TV I feel completely normal. Not overly exhausted, no cravings for recreational drugs, etc. but then when I wake up in the morning it’s awful.

[Mind]

Maybe meditation. Takes some effort, but most studies says it works wonders.

[John250]

Thank you. I definitely need to incorporate some meditation and perhaps yoga but at this point in my life I decided I should go back on medication and when things become more stable I can try tapering off again. I spoke with my Doctor who agreed that Trileptal and Lamical may not be needed as they didn’t do much for me. But he wants me to go back on Lexapro and start at just 5 mg a day which I just started yesterday. Then in 2 weeks I’ll go up to 10 mg and see him in a month. He said at that point he may consider having me add it Wellbutrin if I’m still having issues. I’m just glad he doesn’t feel I need the antipsychotics anymore as those seem to be the most negative on your health.

Edited by John250, 23 May 2018 - 06:48 PM.

[Galaxyshock]

Have you considered the steroids you take may be contributing to your issues? They cause long-term changes in the brain and something like trenbolone can be pretty harsh I've read.

[John250]

Have you considered the steroids you take may be contributing to your issues? They cause long-term changes in the brain and something like trenbolone can be pretty harsh I've read.

Haven’t used steroids for about five years now. Just on hormone replacement therapy. Back when I used steroids I was never able to use high doses. I would always get sick flu like symptoms. Wouldn’t matter what the lab was it could be underground or human grade my body didn’t respond well. I feel that my body recognized it as a foreign substance and tried to fight it off which which lowered my immune system leaving me prone to getting sick. I guess it was a blessing in disguise. Steroids can definitely bring out any underlying issues you have. If you’re a passive calm person by nature you won’t get any rage but if you have natural rage steroids, well certain ones, can bring it out. I only did Tren once not a fan. Gives bad anxiety and way too many side effects. These days it’s just 140mg/wk testosterone cypionate and 2iu’s HGH for hormone replacement therapy.

Today is my third day back on Lexapro at only 5 mg. I actually already feel a difference. I’d say anxiety is reduced a good 30% so far.

Edited by John250, 24 May 2018 - 04:18 PM.

[Mind_Paralysis]

I personally would say the Amphetamines are the obvious thing causing the mania - keep trying to discontinue those and you should see a lessening of manic symptoms.

 

What's your Dr.'s reasoning behind prescribing Oxcarbazepine (trileptal) and Amphetamine to someone with Borderline PD btw? The Oxcar' and Amphetamine seems CRAZY to me!

 

You should probably also consider the possibility that, since you go MANIC while taking Amphetamine, shortly after discontinuing two drugs meant for the treatment of Bipolar Disorder, that you may have that as well.

 

Honestly, I'd suggest Low-Dose Lithium for you - maybe check out some Lithium Orotate - it could have its use.

 

[John250]

I personally would say the Amphetamines are the obvious thing causing the mania - keep trying to discontinue those and you should see a lessening of manic symptoms.

What's your Dr.'s reasoning behind prescribing Oxcarbazepine (trileptal) and Amphetamine to someone with Borderline PD btw? The Oxcar' and Amphetamine seems CRAZY to me!

You should probably also consider the possibility that, since you go MANIC while taking Amphetamine, shortly after discontinuing two drugs meant for the treatment of Bipolar Disorder, that you may have that as well.

Honestly, I'd suggest Low-Dose Lithium for you - maybe check out some Lithium Orotate - it could have its use.

He ruled out bipolar as I don’t fit the criteria. He put me on the mood stabilizers because he said even with borderline they can help. I didn’t respond to any mood stabilizers which was another reason why he ruled out bipolar. The mania did not occur after discontinuing the mood stabilizers. It occurred after discontinuing the Lexapro. I’ve been on Lexapro a little over a week now and already feel a huge difference in reduction of anxiety and no symptoms of mania at all.

[Mind_Paralysis]

He ruled out bipolar as I don’t fit the criteria. He put me on the mood stabilizers because he said even with borderline they can help. I didn’t respond to any mood stabilizers which was another reason why he ruled out bipolar. The mania did not occur after discontinuing the mood stabilizers. It occurred after discontinuing the Lexapro. I’ve been on Lexapro a little over a week now and already feel a huge difference in reduction of anxiety and no symptoms of mania at all.

 

Hmm. Well, ok - I'm glad you seem to be feeling better at the very least.

 

Since Amphetamine is a dopaminergic compound, and you also have anxiety, an option in helping you cut down on that is to order in some BROMANTANE, which, if you haven't read up on it, is an atypical Russian stimulant with very unusual properties - most interestingly, it causes the upregulation of dopamine-production, as well as having a decent anxiolytic effect - sounds like something that might be helpful for you.

 

Another idea is of course to have your Dr. simply shift you over to Selegiline, and gradually go on that, as you lower you amphetamine. (if you keep the dosage of amp of course, this might get supremely dangerous... so a word of caution.)

 

Selegiline increases dopamine activity through MAOI and also metabolises to a smaaaall amount of Levoamphetamine and levomethamphetamine - unlike direct use of such compounds though, Selegiline isn't addictive and has neuroprotective properties. = )

 

Have  you looked into trying DBT as well, btw? I realize the options might be limited in your location, but it's the only treatment with at least some evidence of working on BPD - so, it might even be worth moving to obtain the treatment.

 

I know you are aware of the thread, but have you read the review which analyzed pharmacologic response in BPD? It does single out which antidepressants and which mood-stabilizers have a greater effect - even if it's only small-potatoes, it might be helpful.

 

https://www.longecit...disorder/page-5

[John250]

Hmm. Well, ok - I'm glad you seem to be feeling better at the very least.

Since Amphetamine is a dopaminergic compound, and you also have anxiety, an option in helping you cut down on that is to order in some BROMANTANE, which, if you haven't read up on it, is an atypical Russian stimulant with very unusual properties - most interestingly, it causes the upregulation of dopamine-production, as well as having a decent anxiolytic effect - sounds like something that might be helpful for you.

Another idea is of course to have your Dr. simply shift you over to Selegiline, and gradually go on that, as you lower you amphetamine. (if you keep the dosage of amp of course, this might get supremely dangerous... so a word of caution.)

Selegiline increases dopamine activity through MAOI and also metabolises to a smaaaall amount of Levoamphetamine and levomethamphetamine - unlike direct use of such compounds though, Selegiline isn't addictive and has neuroprotective properties. = )

Have you looked into trying DBT as well, btw? I realize the options might be limited in your location, but it's the only treatment with at least some evidence of working on BPD - so, it might even be worth moving to obtain the treatment.

I know you are aware of the thread, but have you read the review which analyzed pharmacologic response in BPD? It does single out which antidepressants and which mood-stabilizers have a greater effect - even if it's only small-potatoes, it might be helpful.

https://www.longecit...disorder/page-5

Thanks I’ll check that thread out now. I have not heard of Bromatane I’ll have to research it. I just ordered Memantine and ropinirole to experiment with(cautiously)

Also just started DBT with a new therapist

Edited by John250, 29 May 2018 - 11:08 PM.