Let me run this by you guys and let me know if I'm crazy.
It's not crazy at all. That's not an uncommon experience among ex-smokers. Your own observations provide a clear clue as to what is going on behind the symptoms.
Anyway, I've been having trouble breathing lately (as in, the last month and a half). I do a lot of breathing exercises and meditation, and I've realized I've been short of breath during these. I've attributed this to my recent drop in aerobic exercise/rise in inaerobic, which started a couple of months ago, but I'm starting to question that.
Also, especially in the last week or so, I've started to wake up very irritable and very tired. I used to dip Copenhagen for a week or so every once in a while, and this is how I felt when I was doing that after a couple of days. My anxiety and depression (that haven't surfaced in a while) are also starting to get pretty bad. I've been feeling a slight withdrawal feeling on the weekends also, especially on Sunday. I work M-F, and am not around any smoke on Saturday-Sunday.
The main clue is here:
I know for a fact I go into withdrawal (however slight) very easily. When I used to drink regularly, a couple of cigarettes on Saturday would case obvious effects on my well-being on Monday. I'd be trapped in my shell of anxiety, depressive, and irritable. It took me a while to realize what was causing this, but it happened consistently, anytime I smoked a cigarette or two. Same thing with Copenhagen. Which is why I stopped both over a year ago.
You answer is hiding in plain sight under the judgment-laden, emotions-loaded term "withdrawal" which blocks you from further analysis and from finding a more rational resolution of the problem. To break through the spell of the emotional term 'withdrawal', you need to restate it in a more detached, pragmatic form. What is the 'withdrawal' sensation? It is a
signal from your
biochemical networks to your CNS to resupply something that these networks have evaluated as beneficial/useful, something they need (labeled as "addiction" for needs your prejudices disapprove of). If you don't take a breath for a minute, or water for half a day, or you don't have sex for a while, or didn't get to see the object of your latest infatuation for a day (a person, "addictive" game or anything else one can fall in love with)... you will get withdrawal sensations.
If the object of craving is something you
consciously approve of, such as air, water, sex... it's
just a need, and without much ado or side effects your CNS engages its executive-motoric facilities to resupply the provisions or a suitable substitutes if the real thing is not available at the moment (as it is often the case with sex) requested by your biochemical networks.
The problem arises when your conscious evaluation of the need being signalled conflicts with that of your biochemical networks e.g. if your conscious mind considers something as bad for you that your biochemical networks evaluate as good for you, you will get variety of psychosomatic symptoms (difficulties breathing, irritabililty, lost focus,..) -- your biochemical networks are fighting back against your CNS. This is perhaps even more obvious when you flip the two judgments i.e. if your CNS insists that something should be done that your networks evaluate negatively, e.g. a teen may pop in a hurry an usightly gigantic pimple before going out, which his CNS evaluates as net gain, but to which his networks will reply with pain signals (and possibly scars later).
That your biochemical networks have sent a signal in the form of 'having trouble breathing' is their little sly way of reminding your CNS using a familiar metaphor 'gasping for air' indicating, they need something they recall as inhalation of something, related in some way to inhalation of tobacco smoke (nicotine, MAO B inhibition, dopaminergic or cholinergic effects, anti-inflammatory effects, boost in heavy metals detox or antioxidants via glutathione, catalase, SOD upregulation from TS (all nearly doubled), protection against: early onset beta-amyloidosis/Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, pre-clinical rheumatoid arhtritis, osteoarthritis, depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, CFS, MS, asthma, allergies, obesity, latent diabetes, insufficient angiogenesis, low telomerase activity, low pregnenolone/DHEA/testosterone,... are some among the myriad therapeutic and protective effects of tobacco smoke, see brief
summary, especially
link #17 regarding pharmaceutical substitutes, from another thread discussing the subject in greater depth).
Your CNS cannot win this by suppressing the signalls via superficial emotional covers/guardians "withdrawal" or "addiciton", the symptoms will only get worse. The whiff of tobacco smoke smell has essentially triggered the memories stored in your biochemical networks, while they have been looking for a solution for some latent health problem, or problem known to you, and they are signalling to your CNS -- that may be just the medicine we were looking for, you need to inhale that thing. Since "that thing" is unacceptable to your CNS, it is suppressing the signal, turning a deaf ear to them, and the networks are responding by raising the volume.
Attempts to bully the poor co-worker (a victim of our curent mass hysteria against smokers) or the company into rearranging the world around your internal conflict, will pass the buck to outer social network from your CNS, and the problems would get only worse, once other actors get involved and bring in their own problems and solutions (which you may like even less). It is the problem with your CNS evaluating the direct solution (e.g. smoking) highly negatively, which contradicts the evaluation of that solution by your biochemical networks (they almost
always know much better than fads and hysterias du jour whipped by "experts" with agendas that have more to do with benefits to them than to you), which you need to resolve. Since so far you have been merely suppressing their signals, they will keep ratcheting up the symptoms until you face the options -- keep getting worse or provide at least some substitute, more acceptable to your CNS, for what they are asking you to provide. Since within our present Matrix, smoking tobacco is a no-go, you can try some combination of nicotine, selegiline, anti-inflammatory steroids, diet, ... until you find a minimum substitute that deals with the underlying health problem they are trying to solve by sending your CNS the message 'inhale that thing'.
Edited by nightlight, 13 March 2010 - 11:17 AM.