8 replies to this topic

[ADD-PI-Infection]

Hi been a lurker for a long time. Since earliest of childhood memory have been plagued with ADD-Inattentive, anxiety, sinus and digestive problems and a low vibration. I am now in my late 40s. Over the years I have tried nearly every available supplement in high doses plus tried most diets and nootropics. Rotating various supplements helps tweek with symptoms but only the power of stimulants restores my brains lighting. ADD Stimulants + Alkaline Water + Low Carbs = Higher Vibration, Brain Energized and Motivated. Sugars, Grains and Starches = Lowest Vibration and Brain not functioning. Low Vibration = Fear or Torture based Nightmares High Vibration = Happy Dreams Convinced I am fighting with an Inteligent Infection. A biofilm of fungus, bacteria, retrovirus or others collectively working against the health of my brain. Infection stealing my brains energy or toxicating my brain so it is unable to function. Vibrationally my swings are huge, the higher gives me Hope, the Lower is a living hell that I desperately have to escape. Its a lonely place, nobody can understand, there has got to be others facing similar struggles and I just wanted to say HELLO!

[jadamgo]

Loose associations, flight of ideas, high intelligence with an impressive vocabulary, discussion of swings between Nightmare/Happy-Dreams, between carb binges with cognitive dysfunction versus stimulant use with low appetite, between Hope and the lonely Living Hell that nobody can understand...

You're fighting bipolar disorder. That's the "intelligent infection."

[gamesguru]

Well bipolar and ADHD are often mistaken for one another (http://www.additudem...ticle/2511.html). For good reason too...they share a lot of symptoms. Schizophrenia is also often mistaken for ADHD or bipolar. Answers are difficult to find, and it's easy to get lost in the ephemeral diagnostic flux.

Typically, if you've had it since early childhood, and you never have periods of normal mood/though, it's ADHD. I say this as a general principle; it's not absolute. For example, some people have childhood-onset bipolar, and, by definition, ultradian bipolar patients experience cycles shorter than 12~24 hours. There is also cyclothymia, which is more subtle. Ultimately, the definitions are poor, healthy people exhibit some of the same symptoms as those who we label as ill, and this is a very difficult subject.

Since ADD is often co-morbid with other disorders, and can even be co-morbid with bipolar, it's important to rule out (or confirm) co-morbidity. Unipolar depression is common with ADHD,and so are anxiety, thought, personality, and developmental disorders. You're describing mood fluctuations, bouncing between optimism and pessimism. It could be temporary situations arising from life's struggles, but if there are no clear causes to your emotional swings, bipolar might be a reasonable starting guess. Unipolar depression can cause periods of negative thinking and sorrowful feelings, often followed by idealistic thinking and delighted feelings. In unipolar depression, when you manage to get control of your negative emotions, euthymia can feel so foreign and unfamiliar, that you don't know how to act, and can exhibit symptoms of mild mania or at least hypomania: excitement, ridiculous optimism, grandiose delusions, and arrogance/over-confidence. It's difficult to say for sure when a thought or feeling is pathological,and when it's normal and acceptable.

If stimulants always help you, it's likely you have ADHD. Bipolar mania tends to be worsened by stimulants, though not always. You could also have schizophrenia, since amphetamines can ameliorate the negative symptoms, but they tend to exacerbate the positive symptoms. I bring this up mainly because your dichotomy between "low" and "high" and your ideas about "vibrations", "carbs", "energy", "dreams", "intelligent infections", "hope", "hell" and "infections" are kind of "out there". You could also have generalized anxiety and just be hypochondriacal/worried about your mind.

There's too many possibilities to consider here. You can always try to relate more of your experiences to us and lurk around more, but don't expect some internet posters to work magic. If you can afford it, collect your thoughts (hard for someone with mental illness,i know) and go discuss everything on your mind with a decent psychiatrist. He (or she) studies the brain, and probably knows which medicines are worth trying for you. He might also be able to pinpoint some issues that require therapy (like a potential personality disorder or developmental disorder).

[ADD-PI-Infection]

Thanks jadamgo and dasheenster, I appreciate the feedback. Impossible to diagnose on a forum. Depressed at times - YES, Bipolar - NO, Generalised Anxiety - YES, Stimulants and disciplined diet give me a "LIFE" and a strong sense of "SPIRITUAL". Without stimulants back to ADD Inattentive and anxiety, by day horrible low brain function and by night I can be tortured with bad dreams. I strongly suspect an infection, where my lifeforce energy is being stolen. I have been desperately searching for answers just like many reading these types of forums. "Brain Health" (this forum) explores the many mind enhancing nootropics and supplements. I also follow Autism forums where many are struggling with toxins and biofilm, fungus, bacteria and viruses. There is a strong connection between digestion and brain health. We all have the same thing in common...we want to feel Healthy, Mentally Alert and be able to follow our Dreams.

[gamesguru]

Go to a doctor and have your blood tested for antibodies/antigens. Then he can tell you if you have a known infection, and which one it is. Personally, I don't think you're brain is being overwhelmed by an infection. I'd love it if the gut-brain relationship meant you could cure mental illness by adjusting your diet, but sadly, it seems, genetics plays too dominant a role for diet to reverse a lot of these things. Even medication and therapy have their limitations and perhaps even their absurdities. I think your anxiety is causing nightmares, and your depression is causing lower energy levels.
For anxiety you can try magnesium, calcium, zinc, inositol, or others.
For depression you can try curcumin (tolerance), ginkgo (watch out if it worsens anxiety), st. john's wart (be careful, it can really mess with you), or others.
I've had good results with ginger and also cannabidiol, but tolerance is an issue.
Also, a decent part of your state of mind is controlled/influenced by your attitude/outlook. Common sense: try to have more positive thoughts and feelings than negative ones.

[ADD-PI-Infection]

Thanks dasheenster for the reply. Magnesium very helpful, calcium - question mark, zinc helps, inositol can help, iodine another useful one. Gingko has helped and so have many others, on and off, over the years. Curcumin....I often swim my carbohydrate vegetables in strong turmeric, sugar free curried herbs. I suspect the "whatever it is" likes carbohydrates but not turmeric flavoured Might add some extra ginger on your recommendation. Easy to have a positive state of mind when the brain is energised. Nearly impossible to maintain a positive attitude while suffering from low brain energy. I truely feel its "not in the mind" but something is "physically wrong". I believe genetics plays a strong role, my father (passed) also appeared to suffer from ADD Inattentive and was an alcoholic. Our DNA carries thousands of retrovirus and bacterial DNA sequences, maybe we are less human DNA than parasite DNA? I hope someday soon science will find solutions to the many current health issues and diseases.

[gamesguru]

Well we don't know much at all about endogenous retroviruses (I think that's what you're referring to), so getting worried about them is impractical for the time being. We can't even take precautions against them if they're congenital, except by breeding everyone in test tubes and manipulating their genes according to eugenic principles. There's a lot of other health-related things to worry about. Pollution is another, but sadly, the biological activity of most POPs are poorly understood. I also hope a solution to diseases will come soon...perhaps, optimistically, within three decades. This tremendous deed is already on its way, in the makings, but no one knows for sure how long it will be until all diseases are cured.

You seem to have chronic situational depression, which is basically a response to stress, leading to depression and often anxiety. Some people who just have permanently unfortunate lives are misdiagnosed with clincal depression, when really it's just a case of chronic situational depression. Now I don't know what your life consists of, but if you manage to escape the vicious cycle of agonizing circumstances, you might just get back on an even keel. I'm not sure, but I suspect the anxiety is also worsened by the stress. You seem hypochrondriacal, but I haven't picked up on generalized anxiety.

As for ADD, maybe use adderall or ritalin 5 days a week. I have tried to avoid pharmaceuticals for a long time, and I'm on the verge of getting a script for ritalin. Ginkgo just isn't doing it, and ADD (ADHD-PI) is relentless...day in, day out, getting sidetracked, forgetfulness, poor planning, absent-mindedness, poor motivation, impulsiveness, and excessively tangential thinking. It's difficult to reflect on the past, but if you can do it reliably, it's a good way to assure yourself you know what illnesses you actually have.

[ADD-PI-Infection]

Dasheenster, thanks, we are struggling with low brain energy. ..... "getting sidetracked, forgetfulness, poor planning, absent-mindedness, poor motivation" The last two "impulsiveness", and "excessively tangential thinking" is the brain searching for "jump start" ideas.

[Godot]

Sounds like you may have a gluten intolerance and/or metabolic distress. If low-carb makes you feel better, I recommend eating low carb.