Hi all, just thought I would share a little about my background and how I'm trying to treat myself. Perhaps other people on this site could relate and share suggestions of their own.
All of my life, I've suffered from occasionally crippling depersonalization and/or a loss of sense of touch with reality. It can best be described as "I feel locked up inside my own head, isolated in the world". I am very empathetic to others' emotions, but I sometimes half-deny that other people really exist. I have a decent number of friends, but in the past I have associated myself with negative people and sometimes I have trouble relating. Also, I sometimes have a bit of trouble focusing on my work. Occasionally I'll have moments where I feel very in-touch, very focused, and with a sort of euphoric feeling. This normally happens with music or good socialization - and my brain overall performs at its best levels. Perhaps this is a case of shy extroversion. I relate my life to Chris Cornell, who was always a sort of a loner and felt constantly lost like I do. He ended up doing a lot of drugs to numb this feeling, and I have used pramiracetam especially to help nullify my consistent negative emotions.
I have also always felt there was something wrong with me - holding me way back from my potential. I am a computer science major in college (a year behind in credits, cause of some of these issues). I consider myself to be a highly intelligent person but lacking in some social understanding - although this has greatly improved lately.
What I have noticed in terms of treating this:
Coffee - Makes me very in-touch and sociable, if it's a good brew and I don't drink it too much. This could be the caffeine as well as the MAOI substances in it raising dopamine levels.
Focalin (Dexmethylphenidate) - While I'm not currently prescribed it, the times I've had it made me feel "as focused as I feel I should be", Makes me feel more alert and in-touch with people
Pramiracetam - Seems to calm me down emotionally, while "speeding up" my thoughts immensely. I feel like I can process things like a computer, essentially. Keeps me focused to the point where I don't care about my messed up self.
Eating a mostly plant-based diet appears to help my wakefulness and concentration.
Hopefully other people can relate to this post, or offer up some more info. Thank you for reading.