4 replies to this topic

[cosmo2000]

Hi there!

I am into nootropics for a while and tried out quite some stuff, without success. I just had a shipping of new stuff, so I hope you can help me! I have been bullied severely for 6 years, from year 3 I turned anhedonic. I also feel disconnected from other people, and my social mindsets are pretty fucked up. I have friends, but I would like to connect to them in ways that feel more natural. (pretty vague, if you have questions just ask). Sometimes music induces emotions for like 5-10% of how i should feel.

It has been 2.5 years ago that I left high school and still I don't feel pleasure from socializing, sex, music, and other nice things. One time I felt real emotions again was after my first dose of MDMA. that feeling lingered for a few days, although it was more cognitive than emotional rest, so slightly anhedonic.

There is one situation where I feel like 20% of my emotions like I did originally. It is when I wake up after a night of excessive drinking, and have some excercise (i.e. biking somewhere). I felt this for the first time 2 years ago. Maybe these anecdotes can point in some direction where the problem can be solved.

Last month, I consumed:
50 grams of piracetam
some noopept
some ginkgo biloba (few dips per day)
some rhodolia rosea
some phenibut ( after a night of heavy drinking with this combined, i felt happy, eventhough i did some stupid things that night)
1 gram of adrafinil, spaced out dosing a few times
a lot of choline bitartrate
20 grams of taurine.
EGCG
korean ginseng pills (350mg a day)
turmeric 2 grams a day in my food combined with pepper.

Now I added to my arsenal:

sclerotia tampanensis psilocybine mushrooms (plan to take this 0.5 gram/day)
oxyracetam
pramiracetam
phenylpiracetam
aniracetam
picamilon
vinpocetine
idebenone
hordenine
l-theanine
phenylethylamine (PEA)
creatine
beer yeast
st. Johnswort (SJW)

As you can see by the length of the list, I'm pretty fed up by feeling no happiness in the blossom time of my life. and trying everything I can to fix it.

I used to be a celiac, but after a few years (6-10 i believe)of trying a gluten/casein free diet i was fed up and ignored it. I didn't feel any different. Could it be that it helped triggering anhedonia?

When I take recreational dose of psilocybin (4-5 grammes, i feel more like i should be. (i feel like i automatically act like someone who is not me, in daily life). Hash helps opening up & not caring (maybe inhibits left amygdala?)

I eat a very healthy and balanced diet, consisting of many fruits, loads of carrots to increase cd38 expression for more oxytocin turnover eggs, mushrooms, mediterranean, healthy spices.
I used to breakfast with yoghurt and oats, but I need to find gluten/casein free alternatives now).


I had 2 cases of traumatic brain injury - the first was a contusion about 10 years ago, and the second a month ago: i still have a slightly bluish forehead. Perhaps there is a neurological cause to the problem? There wasn't much negativity in my life when the contusion happened. Maybe there was some interaction with my brain function after contusion and the prolonged stress? Maybe a lack of testosteron? I felt I lost some of my manliness after the severe bullying. My voice is also slightly squeeky, usually this is caused due to low adolescent testosterone levels.


Any ideas on how to stack these? or other tips, ideas?

Edited by cosmo2000, 26 October 2013 - 05:33 PM.

[Eruditus]

You should definitely take this as constructive criticism, but instead of just ordering a load of chemicals you have no idea what to do with you should do your own research first on what serves what functions and what combinations have already been tried here on these forums. If you are looking for information on what you have ordered try doing a google search of the chemical or herb name in combination with the word examine. I personally have found a lot of good information on their site as to what does what. They also always back up their reviews of supplements and chemicals with solid scientific data which is a definite plus.

Also I cannot stress enough what a terrible idea it is to even consider taking psychedelics on a daily basis; this is such a wrong mentality to go about using them. I totally understand they might make you feel better however you should never be telling yourself this drug is the daily answer to all your problems and can fix you; there is no such drug because they all have their drawbacks and should therefore should all be cycled. Especially considering how prickly psychedelics can be when overused. once or twice every month maximum is worth it, but all you are achieving by taking them so frequently is tolerance and therefore an increased need to dose even more to get any effects at all; I have seen a lot of people develop disturbing, near psychotic behavioral patterns when overdoing it on the psychedelics and you are considering doing them on a daily basis? Man I know they're not strict on the drugs in the Netherlands, but when you do something really bad to fuck up your mental health completely and get put in some psychiatric ward what are you going to say then... I did all these drugs so that's why everything turned out this bad; Nootropic usage is on the rise, but just because they are so freely available you should also understand it is up to the user to be responsible with how much and what they are taking. If people who don't understand how to use them responsibly fuck themselves up that gives the governments a perfectly good excuse to start regulating them more strictly. Do not think that it isn't entirely possible to fuck yourself up on nootropics because an impulsive mind can just about destroy itself with any drug. I know because I almost went down that road with mdma and I'm so glad I finally learned what it takes to control my behavior and do some actual research before blasting my mind with just about every drug I can get my hands on just because I'm bored.

Nobody is going to form your definite stack for you seeing as nobody knows what you respond well to and what you don't, everyone is unique in this case. Furthermore if you are trying to cure your anxiety I highly recommend not planning too many future party sessions with the phenibut or any combination of other gaba agonists.

My advice to you is to try aniracetam at a dose of 400 to 600 mg (whichever dosage works best for you) which you can then take twice per day or just whenever needed. Aniracetam does not always work directly so maintaining a healthy dosing regimen for up to a week before being able to feel the full cognitive benefits is possible. L-theanine is also a great supplement to reduce anxiety, but only to be taken whenever needed and not on a daily basis since you will get tolerance to a normal dose within two weeks of consistent dosing. Also try taking SJW for a week it may help you with the depression as it causes the serotonin receptors to be replenished, I used this a lot after serotonergic neurotoxity of the mdma and it really helped me a lot. You need to stick with the SJW for a week to start feeling improvements and should know that they may be subtle at first yet social enhancement and less anxiety in social settings may be possible.

DO some more research first before taking many different combinations. Partly the reason I reacted so strongly to this post was because reading through all the stuff you ordered there seems to be absolutely no rhyme or reason as to why you would need all of these chemicals and it really looks like you ordered just about everything they had on offer. This to me is a very bad sign that you are not going to be using them responsibly. So prove me wrong and do the research because in the end you will only be helping yourself.

[cosmo2000]

Thanks for your constructive post. I am sorry I caused to make you think I am an uneducated person ruining himself.

First off I'd like to relief you from your concerns:

- Since last month I think I read about 100 scientific articles on these substances. and forum posts.

- I ordered my noo-tropics thoughtfully, not at random. I chose from a way bigger pool, this is definitely not all. I can find what will work for me and what not, based on my knowledge on these. I am not intending to take all at once or try random combinations. As point before says, I do research to understand what I am doing.

- I don't like phenibut so I won't use it anymore unless someone can find a good application for it.

- I like to stress I intend on using psilocybin as a therapeutical agent, not recreational. I do not intend to feel direct effects. I know I won't. the low threshold dose may, according to research, be able to revert negative biases I built up. and have more positive results ( i.e. http://bjp.rcpsych.o.../3/238.abstract , http://jop.sagepub.c...1/1434.abstract )


Thanks for the advice! I am aware of the long term effects, which is exactly what i am looking for. I don't seek short termed pleasure.

Edited by cosmo2000, 27 October 2013 - 10:18 AM.

[cosmo2000]

I already feel subtle hints of positivity. I have come through some insights blocking me connecting with others, which I think can solve now in medium term.

[Joe Monroe]

anhedonia has to do with lack of serotonin and dopamine. Oxytocin is important, but it's not going to make your life hell like anhedonia.