1 votes
Posted 23 March 2018 - 03:43 AM
Any updates? I have the exact same symptoms as you and I'm getting a SPECT scan of my brain next week in hopes to uncover some answers.
I have an extremely blank mind with virtually zero emotions, really bad memory, extreme fatigue, and repetitive thoughts in my head which are usually song lyrics/rhythms.
Posted 23 March 2018 - 04:59 AM
Not many happened. I currently struggle with a new disease(?), not sure what's happening. I will have endoscopy of my small intestine done because there's a suspicion that my intestinal villi got atrophied (celiac/other GI condition). How I recognized it? My meds almost stopped working. Everyone of them. Got typical GI symptoms + magnesium/other minerals deficiencies (jumping eyelids and other muscles aswell). My thyroid, as I said before - is malfunctioning. I probably have seronegative Hashimoto's - seronegative means that I'm not producing antibodies which are typical for Hashimoto's but not in my case, ultrasound showed characteristic changes for Hashimoto). I'm slowly getting hypothyroid. My hormone levels dropped significantly but are still in normal range. And I need to check if my adrenals are working fine, many symptoms suggest that something is wrong with them - increased urination frequency, flushing on the face, tachycardia, elevated blood pressure, acne and increased sweating under my armpits.
If I recover from this thing above, I will start treatment with aripiprazole. Then I'll get to new doctor who is specialized in rare diseases, basically he likes to investigate any rare condition.
I've noticed weird thing. I wear headphones almost all the time. I even sleep with them. Without music I feel uncomfortable. I made a theory - probably my temporal lobe is more underactive than it was before. If I play music, the auditory cortex located in temporal lobes is activated, this - increasing activity. But that's just my speculation.
Anyway, I will post more info after I'm done with my endoscopy.
Posted 05 April 2018 - 10:17 PM
Not many happened. I currently struggle with a new disease(?), not sure what's happening. I will have endoscopy of my small intestine done because there's a suspicion that my intestinal villi got atrophied (celiac/other GI condition). How I recognized it? My meds almost stopped working. Everyone of them. Got typical GI symptoms + magnesium/other minerals deficiencies (jumping eyelids and other muscles aswell). My thyroid, as I said before - is malfunctioning. I probably have seronegative Hashimoto's - seronegative means that I'm not producing antibodies which are typical for Hashimoto's but not in my case, ultrasound showed characteristic changes for Hashimoto). I'm slowly getting hypothyroid. My hormone levels dropped significantly but are still in normal range. And I need to check if my adrenals are working fine, many symptoms suggest that something is wrong with them - increased urination frequency, flushing on the face, tachycardia, elevated blood pressure, acne and increased sweating under my armpits.
If I recover from this thing above, I will start treatment with aripiprazole. Then I'll get to new doctor who is specialized in rare diseases, basically he likes to investigate any rare condition.
I've noticed weird thing. I wear headphones almost all the time. I even sleep with them. Without music I feel uncomfortable. I made a theory - probably my temporal lobe is more underactive than it was before. If I play music, the auditory cortex located in temporal lobes is activated, this - increasing activity. But that's just my speculation.
Anyway, I will post more info after I'm done with my endoscopy.
You mentioned before in the past that you had looping music in your head, is that still a symptom?
My mind seems to dance between blank mind or looping music, and very rarely do I have spontaneous thoughts or the ability to follow a normal flow of thought for long etc.
I've been beginning to think part of this could be a glutamate dysfunction as glutamate deals with thought transmission and a lot of people with blank mind etc. have benefited from NAC + Sarcosine which activates the NDMA glutamate receptor. One of the other glutamate receptors is AMPA and I've activated it with Aniracetam within the past few days and I've had way more 'normal type thinking' and have been way more social and verbally fluent as well.
So I'm thinking about combining NAC + Sarcosine + Aniracetam in order to boost glutamate functioning and hopefully thereby increase normal thought transmission.
Posted 06 April 2018 - 05:44 PM
You mentioned before in the past that you had looping music in your head, is that still a symptom?
My mind seems to dance between blank mind or looping music, and very rarely do I have spontaneous thoughts or the ability to follow a normal flow of thought for long etc.
I've been beginning to think part of this could be a glutamate dysfunction as glutamate deals with thought transmission and a lot of people with blank mind etc. have benefited from NAC + Sarcosine which activates the NDMA glutamate receptor. One of the other glutamate receptors is AMPA and I've activated it with Aniracetam within the past few days and I've had way more 'normal type thinking' and have been way more social and verbally fluent as well.
So I'm thinking about combining NAC + Sarcosine + Aniracetam in order to boost glutamate functioning and hopefully thereby increase normal thought transmission.
Yup, still have looping music. It's even more severe now, it's a little bit annoying. I know about Sarcosine and NAC. I have them in my storage, maybe I'll try one more time.
Little update: My GP told me that everything is fine with my thyroid... She said something like "the changes on your ultrasound are normal, many people have them and we only treat it when there's too low hormones (underthyroid) or too high (hypethyroid). Waiting for small intestine biopsy but I feel that it's not celiac. I feel that the meds are working but one of them is working differently. Venlafaxine was more activating, now it's sedating.
Currently I suffer from pretty intense brain fog. My blank mind got worse... Venlafaxine doesn't work anymore and I don't know what's the cause...
GP told me that I probably have anxiety disorder even thou I don't really feel anxiety. Maybe I feel tension, but not obvious anxiety. Maybe it's true because many symptoms disappear when I am on anxiolytics.
Psychiatrist on the other hand told me that his intuition is indicating something different, the cause is probably more physical than mental. I'm so confused...
The good news is that my psychiatrist offered me visit in a hospital where he is treating many patients. He said that they can arrange a meeting of ALL doctors to focus on my case. The institution is really big, so there are many doctors that can FINALLY tell WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING WITH ME.
UPDATE EDIT:
I got my pituitary MRI. It's clear but what grabbed my attention was that the ventricles are smaller and my cerebellum got little bit bigger (pituitary scans are showing the whole brain but not as detailed as whole brain MRI). It means that's something, at least partially, is reversing. More detailed MRI will be done in one month.
Edited by MichaelTheAnhedonic, 06 April 2018 - 05:51 PM.
Posted 28 May 2018 - 12:05 PM
UPDATE
My newest MRI showed that my brain changes reversed partially. My ventricles are now smaller, cerebellum regenerated itself somehow. I'm confused because my mental state got worse. I have terrible brain fog, I honestly feel retarded. But maybe it's hormonal, something different is causing it. My DHEA level is elevated. My tooth has been infected for a looong time - 1 month ago I finally received antibiotic. So, the MRI confirmed what I wrote earlier.
Psoriasis is still here, and it's auto-immune disease. Psoriasis can be seen in Celiac disease and other auto-immune diseases .I still have digestive problems - loose stools, diarrhea sometimes and bloating. My acne got really worse. And still SNRI (venlafaxine) doesn't work like it should... GODDAMMIT! In conclusion - something auto-immune is going on here and I don't know what.
Posted 28 May 2018 - 06:08 PM
Venlafaxine is barely an SNRI - unless you go for the highest possible dosage, it's almost exclusively an SSRI. The metabolite it forms, DESvenlafaxine (pristiq, etc) is definitively an SNRI however! The presence and effects of this metabolite should increase as time goes by - perhaps it's the presence of DESvenlafaxine which is throwing the effects off and causing sedation?
For instance, I myself respond to Atomoxetine, an NsRI, with increased sedation with higher dosages - as such, perhaps you ALSO respond with sedation, when the NRI-effects of a drug goes up? (with a specific binding - I don't get tired from higher dosages of Methylphenidate, they make me overly stimulated instead - as is the common response)
On another note - where the h*ll is wikipedia getting the notion that DESvenlafaxine has a lesser affinity for the NET than Venlafaxine?? And the source on Des' page which claims this is out of commission! Highly suspicious... I must challenge this! But I'm too tired... hopefully someone among you others can do it instead of me.
Serotonin Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitors: A Pharmacological Comparison
https://www.ncbi.nlm...les/PMC4008300/
https://en.wikipedia.../Desvenlafaxine
Posted 11 July 2018 - 09:51 AM
Currently waiting for intestinal biopsy results. After that, I will be hospitalized. My IQ dropped hard, I don't know what's happening. I can't focus and I can't plan anything! SNRI still not working like it should...
I am on Abilify 15mg, I feel nothing yet. Can't take methylphenidate because of Abilify.
Posted 11 July 2018 - 07:34 PM
OK, looks like you really need some help. Here is my idea. You had your brain SPECT done, but people who did that don't know how to interpret it. How about sending that to people who have expertise in brain SPECT? Dr. Daniel Amen or his associate will accept outside scans and interpret for you for a fee. They do telephone consultations too. You need to contact https://www.amenclinics.com for details.
Edit: in the meantime, try his free online "brain typing" tool that is supposed to predict results of your SPECT scan: https://brainhealthassessment.com
Edited by jack black, 11 July 2018 - 07:58 PM.
Posted 12 July 2018 - 11:47 AM
A normal life for a normal brain. Stop drugging yourself and work on living in a healthier environment and lessening overthinking.
His brain isn't normal.
He's got brain-imaging proof to back that up - showing massive physical alterations. Granted, some of those were more normalized in his last scan, but the changes are still noteworthy.
He's also got a sister with Schizo-affective disorder, and Schiz' often runs in families - his alterations were consistent with some forms of schizophrenia.
ERGO... he's most likely not entirely "normal" - as such, there's no point in him suffering while trying to be normal - better that he finds another way, a way of living that suits someone with his issues.
OH... and medications.
Posted 12 July 2018 - 02:02 PM
Yeah? Well environmental factors can lead to massive brain changes so it's no surprise. Stress impacts the thyroid, impacts the digestive system, impacts the brain. I could link 30+ testimonies of people having recovered fully and naturally from the exact same symptoms he is experiencing, and they were no different from him. Their life used to be hell, but quick fixes don't solve anything. Actually no amount of medication whatsoever will make him return to lasting normalcy just like that, tolerance/crash/withdrawals are inevitable. Why? Why would he feel connected to reality when he is constantly listening to music, worrying about finding a biological explanation for his symptoms always having background mind chatter about his mental symptoms when he does stuff. Also when he has to go trough crashes from drugs all the time. Emotions are pure, reserved for people immersed in the present when the time is right, surely not when being over analytic and over thinking all the time.
I'm sure you'll try to dismiss my arguments... you've been going trough the same route of drugging yourself for years. Why would you listen now? But no matter what you try to make yourself believe, the fact is the high majority of people that actually hit permanent remission from some or the EXACT same symptoms you're experiencing right now, did so naturally. If they all took the pain to see doctors to get testing done, would they have found biological abnormalities? Yes. Are they gone now? Likely.
I may sound rude, but it's for your own good. I used to be in the same situation as you. And god I'm so glad I got out of this beyond toxic lifestyle of researching everything, obsessing over my mental illness all day, drugging myself to never feel close to normal. Now I'm working on improving who I am, my life in general, and reconnecting with my identity, and that's a much healthier approach.
Watch this...
Edited by Deaden, 12 July 2018 - 02:16 PM.
Posted 13 July 2018 - 12:44 PM
Deaden, that video is interesting and I learned some new things about SSRI, even though I knew most of that and the fact that SSRI treatment for depression is a scam. SSRI have same use in some other things, but have to be used cautiously and only in very small dosed.
But, your response here is totally out of line, cruel, and totally off topic. The OP has neither depression not he takes SSRI.
Posted 13 July 2018 - 01:44 PM
Anyway, my doc can put me on pramipexole after hospitalization. The apathy is unbelievable so I will take the risk. Methylphenidate was so effective in treating my apathy...
Hmm. I actually think it might be more advantageous for you to try Methylphenidate again, first, in a controlled setting such as a hospital. These direct agonists have more drawbacks than indirect ones.
You never know... you might get the effects back again, after the changes you've done since then. (perhaps after the biopsy-results come in, yes?)
Posted 13 July 2018 - 02:54 PM
here is a thought:
anti-psychotics can induce tardive dyskinesia (permenent upregulatiojn of dopamine receptors) and this is a common knowledge.
anti-depressants can induce tardive dysphoria (permenent downregulatiojn of serotonine receptors) and I learned that in video linked by Deaden.
what if dopaminergic drugs can induce tardive anhedonia (permanent downregulation of dopamine receptors)???
there is some anecdotal evidence that atypical anti-psychotics can produce permanent anhedonia: http://www.bluelight...c8b2588ded48198
I don't remember if OP took those, but maybe Deaden's point was somewhat valid. He could have explained it better.
Edited by jack black, 13 July 2018 - 03:03 PM.
Posted 13 July 2018 - 03:05 PM
I may sound rude, but it's for your own good. I used to be in the same situation as you. And god I'm so glad I got out of this beyond toxic lifestyle of researching everything, obsessing over my mental illness all day, drugging myself to never feel close to normal. Now I'm working on improving who I am, my life in general, and reconnecting with my identity, and that's a much healthier approach.
could you please explain better your story, how it relates to OP's and what exactly did you do?
Posted 13 July 2018 - 03:25 PM
Deaden, that video is interesting and I learned some new things about SSRI, even though I knew most of that and the fact that SSRI treatment for depression is a scam. SSRI have same use in some other things, but have to be used cautiously and only in very small dosed.
But, your response here is totally out of line, cruel, and totally off topic. The OP has neither depression not he takes SSRI.
It's complety not off topic what are you talking about? Yes he talks mostly about SSRIs, and so what? I just used this to show how flawed today's psychiatry is, but believe me I have a many more examples and I could develop my point much further. By the way yes, downvote anyone's comments that doesn't align with your views, I'm so glad I took the time to try and help you. NVM already must be working out so well for you guys.
Anyway I can develop my point later, but it depends how much you want me to. I could go on and on and address all potential concerns you have because a lot of them I had myself... but it would be easier if you told me your life situation jack black (not just symptoms).
Edited by Deaden, 13 July 2018 - 03:38 PM.
Posted 13 July 2018 - 03:52 PM
It's complety not off topic what are you talking about? Yes he talks mostly about SSRIs, and so what? I just used this to show how flawed today's psychiatry is, but believe me I have a many more examples and I could develop my point much further. By the way yes, downvote anyone's comments that doesn't align with your views, I'm so glad I took the time to try and help you. NVM already must be working out so well for you guys.
Anyway I can develop my point later, but it depends how much you want me to. I could go on and on and address all potential concerns you have because a lot of them I had myself... but it would be easier if you told me your life situation jack black (not just symptoms).
1. we do know psychiatry is flawed, you are wasting your time.
2. i don't agree with the voting system here, don't blame me.
3. i'm not the author of this thread, as for his life situation, you can read it here from the very beginning.
4. Your method is not entirely working, because you are one angry man.
Edited by jack black, 13 July 2018 - 04:44 PM.
Posted 13 July 2018 - 04:13 PM
Edited by John250, 13 July 2018 - 04:14 PM.
Posted 13 July 2018 - 04:50 PM
I don’t get how an SSRI for treatment of serotonin/Anxiety related depression is a scam. Lexapro helped my anxiety more than any natural or nootropic supplement. Or are you saying SSRI’s won’t work “strictly” for “depression?”
there are different types of depression. depression is just a symptom not a disease. in that regard, mainstream psychiatry didn't make any progress since 19th century.
have you watched the above video? there is evidence that SSRI are helping short term only and making people chronically depressed and worse of long term.
Posted 13 July 2018 - 08:11 PM
Okay so Jack Black… first I’ll start with saying that “permanent” is often a weasel word in research articles, in the sense it’s used as long lasting, but not irreversible. Not even sure if they are making it on purpose, but it’s clear plenty of people have gotten their brain back to full functioning when off psychiatric drugs after a couple months to a year. The rate at which they get better depends on how stressful their environment or mindset is, and the number of good habits they participate in.
Concerning apathy and anhedonia… please stop with the labels. I wasted so much much time researching about it just to realize it was pointless to try to diagnose myself with something when emotional numbness is marked as a symptom of depression, depersonalization disorder, bipolar, autism spectrum, and negative symptoms of schizophrenia… diagnosis are commercial pharmaceutical tools used to give you a psychiatric treatment plan, but in reality many symptoms overlap.
Now, drugs, and/or excessive stress, the two things that brought pretty much everyone into anhedonia in the first place. That’s just facts. But what is the first instinct for someone that becomes severely anhedonic? Stress heavily over it, or take drugs to relieve suffering short term. Except I’d say people that keep taking drugs of whatever kind (including supplement/nootropics), have a worse long term outlook. Sure they might be better for a little, but not really reaching a point where they feel as good as they used to when not hit by mental illness, or not long-lasting. See, boredom and suffering are necessary to some extent for recovery. Feeling good and being motivated are primordial human aspects of survival, and there is no way your brain will not aim to fix itself if you let it. Your biology works for you, but by overly obsessive over your mental health, or drugging yourself and playing with your chemicals, you are interfering with that process.
-Exercise puts stress on the body, and your body adapts by building more muscle.
-SSRIs help relieve suffering from depression and anxiety, but makes people numb (degree varies)
-People that push themselves to study in a field which is hard for them, as they keep at it the studying will become easier and they will get good at that field
-People get a feeling of relaxation after they cry
-Not sure if you noticed, but if you’re severely anhedonic and go trough excessive stress for whatever reason, after that period is over you’ll be less numb than usual for a bit.
-Someone with bipolar and manic, will inevitably crash
-Tolerance/withdrawals are inevitable with stimulants, psychiatric drugs etc…
Rise and fall, fall and rise.
Besides not drugging yourself, it’s also important you do not feed your symptoms, what you decide to put your mind’s attention on has much more influence than you may think on how you feel, same with your environment. A trait a lot of people with anhedonia have is, they spend too much time in their mind, not enough in the present moment. The longer this has been going on, the more awkward or unnatural it may be to start being instinctive again, but practice makes perfect. If you are feeling like crap, your mind is most likely being overactive at the same time. Working on calming your thoughts, and trying to relax is the best healthy way to feel better while not playing with your chemicals. Thing is it might be hard, the worst you feel the more time or effort it might take, but try not to see it as an effort and reach for your instinctive side you lost. It’s why meditation is famous for making people feel emotions out of nowhere, help in lessening anhedonia in people with mental illness, while also improving concentration, and awareness. You could try it now… lay down somewhere, focus on the sounds, smells around you, aim to forget about anything you’re thinking about, and try to just feel things. You’ll find you have the ability to pierce that barrier of numbness to your environment you subconsciously put on yourself. Piercing that numbness to your environment helps calm your thoughts and make you feel better. Like I said, emotions are pure and lie on being immersed in reality. Drugs and stress mess up with your biology and can give artificial highs, but messing up your balance. You need to train your brain to restore that balance, like someone that suffered from a stroke. It can come much quicker than you may think, just depends how much you dedicate yourself to it. Effects can be instant if you do it right, but may not last so long unless you keep at it as your brain still is addicted to the homeostasis you’re currently at. So yeah, the more severe your anhedonia is, the harder it may be, but you technically have the ability to.
Life is also about tolerance. Your biology always works to adapt to stress, do you feel like exercising? Do you feel like socializing or studying or working? Likely not because overthinking makes people unmotivated, but if you push yourself and just “do it” you’ll develop tolerance to that effort. The more you do something, the easier it becomes. It’s just how life works. The thing is, at least when you are doing something, you are occupied, leaving less room for unproductive, detrimental mind chatter. I said stress is toxic, well only the kind that gives you too much room to analyse everything negatively. Find something that you can get immersed in, that keeps you busy. The key is to get occupied, to find something that catches your attention, doesn’t leave you room to ruminate. Of course you’ll need to put a bit in effort into that because it will feel unnatural. If something is too stressful, you’ll ruminate. So hard work probably not at first… but still you’ll need to learn to keep busy in life and lessen rumination. Maybe me addressing concerns might help in calming that rumination, so it’s why I’m writing this. (Sorry for all the repetitions)
It’s no wonder that doctor that offers SPECT scans inevitably will recommend you to get into meditation, but at least if you get that SPECT scan, since you’ve been deep into finding biological explanations for everything, then it might help calm your mind to have someone working on the field of neuroscience tell you it’s what you need to do. Honestly though, you don’t need that SPECT scan, I believe I’m making enough sense here, maybe for me to be more convincing in your mind I should link research articles on how environmental factors affect us biologically (genes, hormones, thyroid, neurotransmitters, digestion, immune system), speaking in scientifically terms, or maybe link multiple testimonies from people getting full long term remission from severe anhedonia/apathy naturally. Blaming genetics for every biological abnormality found is ridiculous, before talking about genetics one should learn how genes work. For now I’ll just link this, but I could develop my point much further if you want:
>https://www.ncbi.nlm...les/PMC3420737/ (is not only relevant to people with autism and worth reading, although technically anhedonia could be diagnosed as asperghers, and no I’m not trying to give you a diagnosis).
“Meditation is a conscious process of self-regulation that tempers the flow of thoughts, emotions, and automatic behaviors in the body and mind. In our accomplishment-driven society, the human brain constantly receives and processes countless pieces of information from the outside world that are contradictory, opposing, and threatening to the organism. As a result, the brain commands a stress response in the body that recruits defense mechanisms and demands high expenditure of energy resources that can severely tax the body in the long run. It is now recognized that cognitive stress is linked to accelerated cellular aging and DNA degeneration [25, 94] that can span generations [95–98]. Furthermore, research suggests that practically every chronic disease of the western world is caused or triggered by stress, particularly in early life”
A normal life for a normal brain.
Edited by Deaden, 13 July 2018 - 08:29 PM.
Posted 14 July 2018 - 01:52 AM
While alot of what Deaden says is good advice for someone suffering a situational non biological mental disorder, it doesn't apply for someone suffering a mental illness that has nothing to do with their external circumstances. Psychiatric medications are overprescribed and ineffective in populations that do not suffer a genuine biological disorder. It's important to work with a psychologist & psychiatrist to get a proper diagnosis to ensure the illness is not caused by an externality.
Some are able to resolve it by mental training, exercising self discipline, meditation and so on. It's ignorant to say this will work for everyone and it ignores all scientific literature that is available on our knowledge of mental illnesses.
For those with a biological mental illnesses, psychiatric medications are proven to be very effective, as well as alternatives such as ECT & DBS for resistant patients.
Posted 14 July 2018 - 03:48 AM
Hi Jake...
First off, I'm not ignoring all scientific litterature. I'm just trying to demonstrate how "biological" abnormalities don't just happen randomly. A lot of bias profite seeking research articles will point out anything abnormal in someone, and then say, oh but take this drug and symptoms will improve. Ok... well why is it abnormal? No... don't say genes. Gene expression is influenced by your environment, and really don't talk about genetic without understanding how it works. Drugs always have downsides. Testosterone, cocaine, coffee, cigarettes, psychiatric drugs, nootropics...etc etc, too much of a good thing is a bad thing. "Psychiatric medications are overprescribed and ineffective in populations that do not suffer a genuine biological disorder." where is that coming from though...? (don't answer). "psychiatric medications are proven to be very effective" okay just continue cherry picking whatever you want to make sense off you've always been so good at that -_- ignore all the downsides to those to your own detriment.
To the people that actually care about having a good life, you might want to be willing to change how you approach all this. Has drugs/supplements been working for you long term? I doubt it. I had spent a lot of time searching for testimonies of people having suffered from severe anhedonia, and getting back to lasting normality... I'd say the high majority did so drug free, or if they were on a drug, life changes having more impact than whatever they may be on. Also clearly it hasn't been working out for everyone on longecity trying to find out exactly what's wrong with them to magically cure it with the perfect substance that fixes it all. Spoiler alert, you could have hundreds of biological abnormalities, just a matter of getting the right testing done to find them. Surely it hasn't for jaiho either who's tried dozens during his 7/8 years of being numb only getting short lasting reliefs every once in a while... Don't take for granted the significant biological impact lifestyle and mindset can have on on brain structure, but also thyroid, digestive system, hormones etc...
I'm not trying to put anyone down. It may not be what you want to hear, but yeah... probably what you need to if you've been in this for a while. I wish I was told this when I was deep in my anhedonia and hopelessness.
Edited by Deaden, 14 July 2018 - 03:58 AM.
Posted 14 July 2018 - 04:00 AM
It's a scientific fact that depression & anhedonia have genetic roots, where your chance of getting a mental illness increases drastically. Biological versions run in families. The famous psychologist, Jordan Peterson, is on medication for life. Because mental illness runs in his family. He does everything correctly and still requires medication.
As a doctorate in psychology put it, some who suffer these illnesses are just born with the susceptibility, regardless of their healthy lifestyle, habits. for example people are born with heart defects and will have heart problems no matter how healthy their habits are. It's the same as with mental disorders.
Never listen to people who say to stay off meds. Let a doctor decide that. Some people just need medications, others can enact changes in their life to get out of it naturally.
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