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My life story schizophrenia anhedonia

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#1 kingj24

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Posted 11 August 2012 - 10:58 PM


Hello everyone (once again) I'm running out of ideas as to what's wrong with my brain. I've tried every stimulant (besides Dex AMP) and none of them help me (well the first couple of days they do then it's back to good old anhedonia/whatever). I've wondered in the past about anhedonia but don't know too much about it, (I'm not even sure if this is what I'm suffering from). Like I said the stimulants help the first couple of days with this issue but after awhile my brain just resets itself. I'm very sorry to everyone on M&M and LONGECITY as I know I'm repeating myself but this is such a big issue for me and it interferes with my life on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong the stimulants help with focus but they just don't seem to fix the issue in regards to anhedonia/lack of pleasure.

I'm going to go into a little bit of past history so bear with me.

When I started school at the age of 7 I had an intrest in learning and many other activities but it seems like right around 5th grade things changed. I just had no desire in finishing stuff anymore e.g homework, projects, books etc... Then when 7th grade hit I became very depressed and super emotional (obsessive like). I wouldn't say anything (I kept it all bundled up inside) but you could tell by the look on my face I was sad e.g I would sit at the luch table with my friends and not even speak to them. This went on for about 2 years until my freshman year in highschool were I finally branched out. It wasn't a major change but I become somewhat normal again. I still had no desire for learning and was always extremely bored with life. Then my junior year hit and I became extremely obsessed with a female and this around the same time the voices started. (THIS WAS NOT THE FIRST TIME I'D BEEN OBSESSED WITH A GIRL). In fact now that I think about it I've gotten stuck in a loop with girls since kindergarden (each obsession lasting 2-3 years minimum).

I started to hear voices about her and other classmates saying how one of my classmates wanted to fight me and how this girl didn't like me. So I went on for a couple of months thinking all the stuff I heard was real. (These "voices" were coming through other peoples mouths I mean when they spoke it literally sounded like they were talking about me but they really weren't. e.g (Just imagine sitting down across from a group of people talking and they were talking about you BUT they really weren't). I mean their was no difference in the way their voices sound, mouth moved NOTHING! just they were talking about me. I know it's hard to imagine and explain but it's what I dealt with on a daily basis and sometimes still do. IT'S THAT REAL!

So during the summer of my junior year I finally had a breakdown. I went up to my mom with a knife. I had no intention of harming her but I wanted to know why her and the rest of my household were "talking" about me. She had no idea what I was talking about. So during that month we searched for a psychiatrist and found one localy. The psychiatrist put me on 20mg of Lexapro and I believe 15mg of Abilify. (We eventually went up to a max of 30mg Lexapro and 30mg Abilify) During this time period my depression ceased and I was happy once again. I however was still hearing voices through peoples mouths, the telivision etc.. During this time period I began to think that others around me could hear my thoughts and could also hear the voices I was hearing. This in turn caused me to become even more paranoid and I started to become cautious about what I thought all the time due to the fact that I believed others could hear my thoughts.

So once again I had a breakdown and finally decieded to contact the girl I had become obsessed with my junior year through facebook because I thought she was hearing them too. I finally got a hold of her and she told me that she had no clue about what I was reffering to. So that in turn caused me to break down even more to the point were I kept contacting her and she finally had her boyfriend call me and he said if I didn't stop contacting her I would be put in jail. So a few more months went by and I had another breakdown were I started to hear voices say that someone put a curse on me in fact one of my babysitters from when I was younger they said did this. So after that I just lost it and was put in the hospital because I kept telling my parents that this babysitter had put a curse on me. In the hospital I was put on 4mg of Risperdal and .25mg of klonopin 3x/daily (IF NEEDED). I finally became stable after a few weeks in the hospital and was released. The psychiatrist I'm currently going to added 40mg prozac because I told him I was feeling depressed. The combo of the 40mg prozac, .25mg of klonopin and 4mg Risperdal by far has worked the best.

However even after all this I was/am still dealing with the issue of what I think is anhedonia. Before anti-depressants I was very emotional with anti-depressants I'm very flat/numb The Psychiatrist has been kind enough to let me try a stimulant again (Focalin XR) 15mg the first few days it helped with my anhedonia but it stopped helping with that after just a few days. Focalin XR however does work great for focus. Here's the best example I can give you guys of what's going on. When I go to play a videogame I can focus but I gain no pleasure from it/no interest and that of course causes me to go on to something else very fast. I'm constantly switching focus but I truly don't believe this is a focus issue it's got to be something else.

I take heat from this at M&M lol but anyways when I was taking fish oil consistintly at (240 DHA/360 EPA3x/day) it cured this problem and that was in 9th or 10th grade. I just recently have started taking it again and don't notice anything as of yet but hopefully it will work it's wonders again! So really with all this in mind do you guys have any ideas as to what might be wrong with me? I just wish I wouldn't lose interest in things so quickly and would be able to feel pleasure and emotion again!

Thank You!
Sincerely,
Kingj24

lol I just zoned in on that post.

#2 kingj24

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Posted 11 August 2012 - 11:08 PM

That post was exactly the opposite as to what's going on I had an interest in writing it but with other things I just have no interest. It's not a lack of focus. It simply from what I can see in my life a lack of interest.

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#3 kingj24

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Posted 12 August 2012 - 04:02 AM

I know that anti-depressants and anti-psychotics can make anhedonia but what about stimulants?

#4 Thorsten3

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Posted 12 August 2012 - 09:18 AM

Dude I see your posts over at M&M. You seem to be beating your head against a brick wall with drugs.

Can I ask what your diet is like? Have you tried cutting down on carbs (many benefits to this) and have you especially tried eradicating gluten? Gluten fucks a lot of people up, and has been implicated heavily in schizophrenia. Wheat is a powerful drug. It's actually far more powerful than morphine but its effects in the body are very short lived (matter of seconds until it is degraded... Hence it is a very powerful, addictive substance). I would guess that the vast majority of people who don't notice its effects have it as a staple to their diets, so therefore, all they notice is the craving for it. As an example I don't eat wheat at all but every now and then I will have a big plate of pasta (as a treat) and boy does that put me on a different planet. It is kind of fun in a way but if I start eating it all the time I start feeling like a zombie (depressed and out of whack). I suppose this is how most people feel but they become accustomed to it.

I'm not being patronising, but most of the population that eat grain probably have zero interest or ability to gauge how food is affecting them. They eat a big plate of mash potato and it makes them feel tired. This has been the case all of their life, therefore they have learnt through their life that this is how a plate of food makes them feel after they've finished it. What about if I changed that plate of carbs and gave them a steak with a salad? I can guarantee they would have more energy following the meal, but would they take note of that? That's the thing, people don't give shit. But they should do, especailly those on here who waste thousands of pounds to try and cure their chronic fatigue issues or any other issues they might have which are probably caused in large by poor dietary choices.

Also going organic, eliminating pesticides/chemicals would also be beneficial to mood disorders and health issues, I would imagine if one could afford it.



Sorry to rant I'm just trying to illustrate to people how vital dietary choices are.



I mean do you think your schizo has been caused by some gentic default? Or can you consider the fact that this might play a part and the rest could have been caused by lifestyle (especially diet)? What you put into your mouth actually matters a lot. It's a shame 99% of the population really couldn't give a shit. It's worth a try at least?

Out of all the supplements, drugs, herbs and 'nootropics' I've ever tried over the years, nothing touches my ADHD, OCD, Depression (bipolar type 11), GAD and SAD (Yes, I have the full lot) more than restricting carbohydrates, man made chemicals/additives/trans fats and anything else that isn't natural.

Living on a farmyard, junk food diet during your life will ruin body and your mind. Why would you put horseshit into a car when you can use unleaded petrol? That's the way I see it. You need to be a snob about this kind of stuff. If someone offers to take you to McDonnalds you need to look at them as if they have just offered to have sex with your mother. Look at them with disgust so they will never ask you again. The more you avoid this rubbish food the less you crave it (that's neurogenesis for you right there). I no longer get cravings for junk food or sugar AT ALL. Junk food is pretty much as addictive as cocaine really and I feel sorry for those who are hooked on it. I'm not saying you eat like this dude I'm just making a point in general about the sad state of affairs in the world today when it comes to our food.


Going ketogenic is also an option, for you. And for Gods sake, stay away from grain. Agricultural shite that the human body has been eating for about 10,000yrs. We evolved eating a completely different diet for 25 million yrs. Yes, meat, plants, berries, nuts and anything else we could get. Grain was not part of the equation during this period of our evolution and there's no way our bodies have adapted to this change in our diet during that small spec of time. Imagine 10,000yrs in a 25 million year timeline. Yes it's nothing. Wheat is indeed murder.

Edited by Thorsten2, 12 August 2012 - 09:41 AM.

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#5 medievil

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Posted 12 August 2012 - 09:48 AM

You just got tolerant to your stim, add memantine to your meds, its been shown to help shizo when added to a AP, take a few day break of focalin and readd it later and it should keep working for your anhedonia, also take one or two days off it every week to make it work consistently.

I do still think in the long term you should try out differened options for positives in shizo instead of risperdal such as a gluten free diet, lysine, pregnenolone or other things that have been shown to work for positives.
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#6 Turnbuckle

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Posted 12 August 2012 - 10:54 AM

Have you ever heard of Dr. Abram Hoffer? He wrote a book decades ago called "How to Live With Schizophrenia," in which he advocates large doses of niacin (or niacinamide) as a cure.
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#7 medievil

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Posted 12 August 2012 - 11:05 AM

niacin as a cure? Sounds like bullshit, also if im correct he's shit was never replicated.

#8 Turnbuckle

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Posted 12 August 2012 - 11:36 AM

niacin as a cure? Sounds like bullshit, also if im correct he's shit was never replicated.



It's not the cure for everyone, but some apparently have a reduced sensitivity to niacin and require more of it. Research in this area has been very slow as there's no money in it for the drug companies. However, here's a paper from a couple of months ago which looked at skin response to niacin in a schizophrenic population--

CONCLUSIONS:

Reduced niacin sensitivity is associated with greater functional impairment among patients with schizophrenia. These findings raise the possibility that a subset of schizophrenia patients possesses a biochemical abnormality that reduces niacin sensitivity in the skin and contributes to functional impairment from the disease.

http://www.ncbi.nlm....pubmed/22445461


Edited by Turnbuckle, 12 August 2012 - 11:39 AM.


#9 medievil

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Posted 12 August 2012 - 11:51 AM

I know about that study but shizophrenia dysregulates pretty much every function in the body, correcting one particular problem doesnt allways lead to significant improvement in shizo (low test, high DHEA, low preg etc a few example of things that got fucked).

The big problem in shizo is slow neurodegeneration wich often isnt reversed by correcting a paticular problem and requeres far more effective things to reverse.
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#10 Turnbuckle

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Posted 12 August 2012 - 11:59 AM

I know about that study but shizophrenia dysregulates pretty much every function in the body, correcting one particular problem doesnt allways lead to significant improvement in shizo...


If the problem is a reduced ability to utilize niacin, then supplementing with niacin or niacinamide (plus antacid!) would correct all the problems that stem from that, just as supplementation corrects the problems of pllegra. In any case, these vitamins are dirt cheap and worth a shot, especially considering that the pharmaceuticals used for treatment have such horrible side effects.

Edited by Turnbuckle, 12 August 2012 - 11:59 AM.


#11 medievil

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Posted 12 August 2012 - 12:04 PM

It wont hurt, i agree with that...

That said im skeptical of effiacy, there are other far more promosing things that have been studyd without the terrible side effects of AP'.

The period i was on risperdal was the worst of my life, i completely lost my personality and nearly lost everyone around me, it did prevent me from getting extremely stressed out wich usually triggered psychosis but at what cost...

#12 kingj24

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Posted 12 August 2012 - 03:04 PM

Dude I see your posts over at M&M. You seem to be beating your head against a brick wall with drugs.

Can I ask what your diet is like? Have you tried cutting down on carbs (many benefits to this) and have you especially tried eradicating gluten? Gluten fucks a lot of people up, and has been implicated heavily in schizophrenia. Wheat is a powerful drug. It's actually far more powerful than morphine but its effects in the body are very short lived (matter of seconds until it is degraded... Hence it is a very powerful, addictive substance). I would guess that the vast majority of people who don't notice its effects have it as a staple to their diets, so therefore, all they notice is the craving for it. As an example I don't eat wheat at all but every now and then I will have a big plate of pasta (as a treat) and boy does that put me on a different planet. It is kind of fun in a way but if I start eating it all the time I start feeling like a zombie (depressed and out of whack). I suppose this is how most people feel but they become accustomed to it.

I'm not being patronising, but most of the population that eat grain probably have zero interest or ability to gauge how food is affecting them. They eat a big plate of mash potato and it makes them feel tired. This has been the case all of their life, therefore they have learnt through their life that this is how a plate of food makes them feel after they've finished it. What about if I changed that plate of carbs and gave them a steak with a salad? I can guarantee they would have more energy following the meal, but would they take note of that? That's the thing, people don't give shit. But they should do, especailly those on here who waste thousands of pounds to try and cure their chronic fatigue issues or any other issues they might have which are probably caused in large by poor dietary choices.

Also going organic, eliminating pesticides/chemicals would also be beneficial to mood disorders and health issues, I would imagine if one could afford it.



Sorry to rant I'm just trying to illustrate to people how vital dietary choices are.



I mean do you think your schizo has been caused by some gentic default? Or can you consider the fact that this might play a part and the rest could have been caused by lifestyle (especially diet)? What you put into your mouth actually matters a lot. It's a shame 99% of the population really couldn't give a shit. It's worth a try at least?

Out of all the supplements, drugs, herbs and 'nootropics' I've ever tried over the years, nothing touches my ADHD, OCD, Depression (bipolar type 11), GAD and SAD (Yes, I have the full lot) more than restricting carbohydrates, man made chemicals/additives/trans fats and anything else that isn't natural.

Living on a farmyard, junk food diet during your life will ruin body and your mind. Why would you put horseshit into a car when you can use unleaded petrol? That's the way I see it. You need to be a snob about this kind of stuff. If someone offers to take you to McDonnalds you need to look at them as if they have just offered to have sex with your mother. Look at them with disgust so they will never ask you again. The more you avoid this rubbish food the less you crave it (that's neurogenesis for you right there). I no longer get cravings for junk food or sugar AT ALL. Junk food is pretty much as addictive as cocaine really and I feel sorry for those who are hooked on it. I'm not saying you eat like this dude I'm just making a point in general about the sad state of affairs in the world today when it comes to our food.


Going ketogenic is also an option, for you. And for Gods sake, stay away from grain. Agricultural shite that the human body has been eating for about 10,000yrs. We evolved eating a completely different diet for 25 million yrs. Yes, meat, plants, berries, nuts and anything else we could get. Grain was not part of the equation during this period of our evolution and there's no way our bodies have adapted to this change in our diet during that small spec of time. Imagine 10,000yrs in a 25 million year timeline. Yes it's nothing. Wheat is indeed murder.


(lol) I know I sound like a broken record with all these post but I guess it's just the way I am. I will definitely be trying out somethings in regard to my diet. So no carbohydrates man made chemicals/additives/trans fat. I should probably add things like fish, protein etc... So anything else I should add or take away?

#13 kingj24

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Posted 12 August 2012 - 03:09 PM

You just got tolerant to your stim, add memantine to your meds, its been shown to help shizo when added to a AP, take a few day break of focalin and readd it later and it should keep working for your anhedonia, also take one or two days off it every week to make it work consistently.

I do still think in the long term you should try out differened options for positives in shizo instead of risperdal such as a gluten free diet, lysine, pregnenolone or other things that have been shown to work for positives.


I will also be doing this. I'll take today through Wednesday off (I'll try an only use focalin on my work days and maybe sat. IF NEEDED)

#14 mikey

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Posted 14 August 2012 - 06:49 AM

What the guys are saying about nutrition and nutritional supplements is worth considering. I was in a mental hospital at 14 years of age for depression, schizophrenia and who knows what else they could come up with. Today my experience causes me to see problems like I had to be more related to poor nutritional biochemistry and nutrient deficiencies - consuming things - foods/chemicals - that cause imbalanced biochemistry while not consuming enough of what is required for optimum mental and physical health. The way conventional medicine diagnoses – and prescribes - generally does little to solve the core problems, while a functional medical approach can actually solve the problems.

When I got myself out of the mental hospital I read an article about Abram Hoffer's work with niacin and started taking 3,000 mg a day. It completely changed my life and is part of what continues to contribute to my better balance to this day at age 59. As well, a low carb, keto-ish diet and lots of dietary supplements keep me on an even keel. My Dad met and was friends with Dr. Hoffer and I had communication with him. I didn't find agreement with everything he said or wrote, but he certainly presented enough life-changing information for it to be taken seriously, especially by people with chemical imbalances that affect brain chemistry. Also, the web site he started, orthomolecular.org has information to consider.

The nutritional suggestions from the guys here are pretty much playing my song. What we put in our biochemical machines are best sourced from a logical look at our genetics or we risk having the machine not functioning optimally.

I would include in a list of nutrients that improve brain chemistry, higher, more optimal doses of omega-3's. For instance, 3,000 mg of net EPA/DHA reduced anxiety and anger scores >60% in http://www.ncbi.nlm....les/PMC2225526/ and http://www.ncbi.nlm....pubmed/17110827. But I take 4,000 mg/day – it works better for both my brain and it stops my atrial fibrillation, where lower doses aren’t as effective.

Then 200 mg/day of theanine reduced anxiety better than Xanax while also improving focus - http://www.lef.org/m...anine and xanax. I take 500 mg/day.

Also effective for improving mental balance are vitamin D – I take 11,000 IU/day – based on blood tests, NAC – I take 5,400 mg/day and high potency B-vitamins. But we all need to find what doses work for ourselves.
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#15 NMDAstronaut

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Posted 14 August 2012 - 07:30 AM

What the guys are saying about nutrition and nutritional supplements is worth considering. I was in a mental hospital at 14 years of age for depression, schizophrenia and who knows what else they could come up with. Today my experience causes me to see problems like I had to be more related to poor nutritional biochemistry and nutrient deficiencies - consuming things - foods/chemicals - that cause imbalanced biochemistry while not consuming enough of what is required for optimum mental and physical health. The way conventional medicine diagnoses – and prescribes - generally does little to solve the core problems, while a functional medical approach can actually solve the problems.

When I got myself out of the mental hospital I read an article about Abram Hoffer's work with niacin and started taking 3,000 mg a day. It completely changed my life and is part of what continues to contribute to my better balance to this day at age 59. As well, a low carb, keto-ish diet and lots of dietary supplements keep me on an even keel. My Dad met and was friends with Dr. Hoffer and I had communication with him. I didn't find agreement with everything he said or wrote, but he certainly presented enough life-changing information for it to be taken seriously, especially by people with chemical imbalances that affect brain chemistry. Also, the web site he started, orthomolecular.org has information to consider.

The nutritional suggestions from the guys here are pretty much playing my song. What we put in our biochemical machines are best sourced from a logical look at our genetics or we risk having the machine not functioning optimally.

I would include in a list of nutrients that improve brain chemistry, higher, more optimal doses of omega-3's. For instance, 3,000 mg of net EPA/DHA reduced anxiety and anger scores >60% in http://www.ncbi.nlm....les/PMC2225526/ and http://www.ncbi.nlm....pubmed/17110827. But I take 4,000 mg/day – it works better for both my brain and it stops my atrial fibrillation, where lower doses aren’t as effective.

Then 200 mg/day of theanine reduced anxiety better than Xanax while also improving focus - http://www.lef.org/m...anine and xanax. I take 500 mg/day.

Also effective for improving mental balance are vitamin D – I take 11,000 IU/day – based on blood tests, NAC – I take 5,400 mg/day and high potency B-vitamins. But we all need to find what doses work for ourselves.



Are you takine Niacin or Niacinamide? Have you tried both?

I don't have schizophrenia but liked the way Niacinamide made me feel though grew tolerant. Have thought about adding this back into my cycle. Right now I cycle piracetam with theanine mainly. Was also cycling in DLPA/Nacetyl tyro some days but stopped this - may go back to it too.

I also like the NAC, Vit D, EPA/DHA I cycle in the NAC on days I use piracetam and it seems to combine nicely
I also take bacopa, Turmeric, choline bitart, ashwaghanda (cycle) & oxytocin spray (cycle)

Edited by NMDAstronaut, 14 August 2012 - 07:34 AM.


#16 mikey

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Posted 15 August 2012 - 12:02 AM

What the guys are saying about nutrition and nutritional supplements is worth considering. I was in a mental hospital at 14 years of age for depression, schizophrenia and who knows what else they could come up with. Today my experience causes me to see problems like I had to be more related to poor nutritional biochemistry and nutrient deficiencies - consuming things - foods/chemicals - that cause imbalanced biochemistry while not consuming enough of what is required for optimum mental and physical health. The way conventional medicine diagnoses – and prescribes - generally does little to solve the core problems, while a functional medical approach can actually solve the problems.

When I got myself out of the mental hospital I read an article about Abram Hoffer's work with niacin and started taking 3,000 mg a day. It completely changed my life and is part of what continues to contribute to my better balance to this day at age 59. As well, a low carb, keto-ish diet and lots of dietary supplements keep me on an even keel. My Dad met and was friends with Dr. Hoffer and I had communication with him. I didn't find agreement with everything he said or wrote, but he certainly presented enough life-changing information for it to be taken seriously, especially by people with chemical imbalances that affect brain chemistry. Also, the web site he started, orthomolecular.org has information to consider.

The nutritional suggestions from the guys here are pretty much playing my song. What we put in our biochemical machines are best sourced from a logical look at our genetics or we risk having the machine not functioning optimally.

I would include in a list of nutrients that improve brain chemistry, higher, more optimal doses of omega-3's. For instance, 3,000 mg of net EPA/DHA reduced anxiety and anger scores >60% in http://www.ncbi.nlm....les/PMC2225526/ and http://www.ncbi.nlm....pubmed/17110827. But I take 4,000 mg/day – it works better for both my brain and it stops my atrial fibrillation, where lower doses aren’t as effective.

Then 200 mg/day of theanine reduced anxiety better than Xanax while also improving focus - http://www.lef.org/m...anine and xanax. I take 500 mg/day.

Also effective for improving mental balance are vitamin D – I take 11,000 IU/day – based on blood tests, NAC – I take 5,400 mg/day and high potency B-vitamins. But we all need to find what doses work for ourselves.



Are you takine Niacin or Niacinamide? Have you tried both?

I don't have schizophrenia but liked the way Niacinamide made me feel though grew tolerant. Have thought about adding this back into my cycle. Right now I cycle piracetam with theanine mainly. Was also cycling in DLPA/Nacetyl tyro some days but stopped this - may go back to it too.

I also like the NAC, Vit D, EPA/DHA I cycle in the NAC on days I use piracetam and it seems to combine nicely
I also take bacopa, Turmeric, choline bitart, ashwaghanda (cycle) & oxytocin spray (cycle)



I took only niacin until last year because niacin was championed by Dr. Hoffer and then a double-blind, placebo-controlled study showed that a dose my father's company uses in one of the 'brain" products improved memory test scores as much as 40%.

I found no human studies showing that niacinamide equaled niacin's memory-boosting effect, so I hadn't focused on niacinamide, thinking that it also didn't benefit the cardiovascular system the way niacin does, so why bother with it?

But I added extended release niacinamide to my supps last year after a study came out that showed that niacinamide cured mice of Alzheimer's and reversed memory loss. The study was so exciting that a human study is being conducted at UCLA with the cooperation of the Alzheimer's Association.

You can read my thoughts on niacinamide at http://www.michaelmo...Alzheimers.html and niacin at http://www.michaelmo....net/niacin.htm

Niacinamide also has been shown to to have similar actions on the benzodiazepine receptors in the brain to the sleeping medication, Valium, that can make you feel calm and sleepy, to create deeper, more restful sleep. I don't find it to feel like a drug during the day, but it does seem to increase a feeling of well-being, which you mentioned, too. I take 1,500 mg before bed and it does seem to help sleep.

I take or use pretty much everything you mentioned, but I take them all every day pretty much, and I get 250 mg of choline in my extra high potency anti-aging multivitamin, but I use lecithin for its phosphatidyl choline content - and get about 3,000 to 5,000 mg of PC/day to enhance the health of the lipid bilayer on our body's cells, as well as increase PC in the brain - it does that better than choline. My GI function has improved noticeably since I started taking lecithin.

I also get lecithin in the liposomal nutrients that I make and sometimes buy.

I just ordered some bacopa because I'm always interested in experimenting with brain-boosting products.

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#17 summertimex

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Posted 16 August 2012 - 07:43 AM

yeah just keep on taking more drugs, its scary, but it cures it.





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