Keep thinking about this guy

that I once met.  He knows some people that I know.  He's a successful person in the arts, and pretty well known.  I saw him recently in the media.  He said something to the effect that he wanted a girlfriend.  It sounded like I might have at least one quality he was looking for.  I was interested in him before.  His work is amazing and other women have noticed him.  But when I get up close to him, I'm not attracted to him, so that's effed up.  But I keep thinking about him.  He has a strong presence.  Years ago he was appearing not far from my home and I thought about going down there and trying to make something happen. I didn't.  This might be some reasons why:  http://www.longecity...ry-593-warning/   I'm older than him.  Another older white woman did exactly what I had planned to do.  They ended up being a couple.  A while later a mutual acquaintance heard about my feelings and got right on the phone and tried to make something happen, right in front of me.  That's a man for you.  He got the guy on the phone. The Artist said he was not single.      
 
When I saw him in the media recently he said money isn't a problem for him.  I think he has a house in a nice neighborhood.  This would solve all my problems.  I feel so beat up by the circumstances I just want someone to rescue me.  I think about him but then I realize that's effed up because my attraction is so ambivalent, but then I go back to it because some of the elements are there and it's such a nice fantasy to live in.
 
It's an effed up weird situation that I keep drifting back to because it's appealing on some levels.