Spoilered backstory for tl;dr'ers.
I've inherited my grandfather's introversion. I do not have any friends, nor do I feel any incentive to make any. Even on MMOs I have zero "friends". I am very bothered by the presence of other people and see their proximity as an invasion of privacy. Often I will assume ill-intent or stupidity in people inconveniencing me with their presence. I am more open to new experiences, especially when it involves efficiency but actually making the effort to experience and implement them is another story. I am however less motivated to work. I have no concept or appreciation for delayed gradification, I cannot save money and in retrospect any changes I've made to my behaviour or routine were more like a long stream of short addictions. Good and bad. I think only in internal monologues, sometimes acted out physically. Although I see them as negative traits I am prone to envy (not jelousy). anger, frustration and anxiety, which formed into an anxiety disorder. My mind is very noisy and I can't hold a thought for too long and cannot concentrate on one thing at a time which delays progress further. Every action I take happens in the context of what people will think of my action, this forms part of my internal monologue, which is actually more of a dialogue. In daily life this reflects itself as either very high or very low self-esteem, both introverted.
My grandfather spent the last years of his life locked inside his neurosis as an angry shell of a man, unable to express himself to and experience the world. My father is at a point where he's slowly becoming just that and if that trend continues I am to become as rigid and neurotic as them later in my life. Frankly it scares me. After misdiagnosing my behavious as symptoms of something and trying many supplements and nootropics I've decided to take a different approach. I understand that chemical supplements cannot have any real effect on behaviour that's genetic and environmental, especially in my late 20s. But i'm willing to try anything to break me out of this shell so any suggestion is appreciated. Citations are always good ofcourse but at this point i'll take anecdotes.
So far i've only managed to impliment some lifestyle changes. I hit the gym 5 times a week; 20m of intense cardio and 1.5hrs or resistance training and muscle building. I am trying to follow a paleo-like diet with alot of asian and indian influences. Many fermented foods, no diary, no sugar. Didn't help but I feel better.
Supplements I'm taking: 1g pure DHA, Vitamin C, calcium, magnesium, zinc, immunity probiotic, spirulina, 5-10g fibre (really 5 types of seed husks), egcg, 1g cocamine. This is mainly to hopefully address my very mild anemia and immune system anomalies (chronic blocked nose, leg folliculitis and IBS for 10+years). Will be trailing reishi soon.
Treatments I'm considering/researching: Mindfulness meditation/philosophy, CBT, an anti-depressant such as paxil, neural feedback (saw some thread about it here but I'm not at all familiar with it).
Any suggestions I will greatly appreciate.