134 replies to this topic

[grainger]

On top of all the recent work stress that I have this week I just broke up with my live in gorlfriend of 1 year. I know that keeping busy is always a good thing and I am doing this but she consumes my mind and it is very difficult to continue to lead my life the way I need to live it. I am distracted at work and have crying bouts. All in all I am having a very hard time delaing with these feelings.

Last night I took a vlium and it seemed to help but when I woke up this morning the feelings returned.

Is valium the right choice in this situation? Xanax? I am fully aware that neither drug is the long term solution but I wouldlike to take somthing to help take the edge off so I can start to cope and deal with these problems.

Thanks in advance for everyones suggestions and comments

Jim

[doug123]

I don't think any pill will solve this problem.

[ajnast4r]

adam is right... this is not a problem to try to solve with drugs. lest drugs become your main method of coping with problems.

i find hard exercise REALLY helps with unbearable stress.

best way to get over a girl, is another girl... never fails

[caston]

Try listening to "Unforgiven 2" by Metallica.

[almac_uk]

I suggest you look to your friends and family for comfort. They can help you get through the tough times... sometimes it's okay to feel bad - a necessary aspect of being a human being. I'd definitely avoid pills for this sort of thing. Dependency on medication is a slippery slope.

You can always post on here - it's remarkable how kind and understanding people can be, even if they're complete strangers.

Hope you feel better.

[mitkat]

On top of all the recent work stress that I have this week I just broke up with my live in gorlfriend of 1 year. I know that keeping busy is always a good thing and I am doing this but she consumes my mind and it is very difficult to continue to lead my life the way I need to live it. I am distracted at work and have crying bouts. All in all I am having a very hard time delaing with these feelings.

Last night I took a vlium and it seemed to help but when I woke up this morning the feelings returned.

Is valium the right choice in this situation? Xanax? I am fully aware that neither drug is the long term solution but I wouldlike to take somthing to help take the edge off so I can start to cope and deal with these problems.

Thanks in advance for everyones suggestions and comments

Jim

I feel for you, man! We've all been there before, I know that doesn't help any This could give you a potential good situation, sort of an output for any upset or angst you well. In a way, a chance to take sometime for yourself, and get your headspace off this girl. You've gotta try to use this time period to the best of your abilities, because it's in your hands how it's going to be. Why not get back into something you used to do, or take up a new interest. I know that sounds cheesy as hell, but damn son, give 'er a thought.

Why not one of the many facets of life extension?

[caston]

When I broke up with my ex I started playing N64 emulators on my PC to relive my teenage years. I was actually heavily considering getting involved in the N64 hobbyist scene but fortunately I finally found imminst and got involved in radical life extension instead. I think i've made the right choice and hope to be mates with you guys forever

[Infernity]

Pills are not a solution for such things, hun.

Breakups are never easy.... Time heals 'em best.

Most of us have been through at least one breakup, and most of us will tell you it wasn't easy.

I wish you the best....

-Infernity

[zoolander]

attachment leads to suffering

[ajnast4r]

attachment leads to suffering

quoted for truth

[doug123]

Suffering leads to attachment.

[mitkat]

Suffering leads to attachment.

Fair. But we can't simply avoid any type of relationship being concerned with the eventual outcome. Love doesn't have to be a feedback loop, it is what you make it.

"'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."

Misquoted from so many sources, might as well be "anonymous" by this point

We've all had to tough it out. The key for me was to find something important to do, to take up the time and headspace left behind. Just don't sit in your room listening to The Smiths (unless you listen to them all the time)...make the most of this time with yourself.

[doug123]

"'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."

Misquoted from so many sources, might as well be "anonymous" by this point

Ah, that quote sort of reminds me this one; but I know who that is:

Some are born to move the world
To live their fantasies
But most of us just dream about
The things we'd like to be

Sadder still to watch it die
Than never to have known it
For you, the blind who once could see
The bell tolls for thee...

[Ghostrider]

Don't worry about it too much, there are more fish in the sea. The race is long. Right now you are just taking a pit-stop. Now you have a new tank of gas and will be back to your old position soon.

[imoralityisnear]

Just try some crack.

[Ghostrider]

Just try some crack.

Stay away from substance abuse. Strip club might help (not being serious, but it worked for Dave Chappelle).

[meatwad]

Ooh I got a quote, that I like to read, when I am having women troubles...

"I got 99 problems but a ***** ain't one."
-JayZ

in all honesty Ajnastr is right on the money. My girl went to college, within 3 weeks I had already bonded and attached to another girl. This one is now currently occupying my thoughts and I barely have even thought of the other one.

[kottke]

Dont take pills. Dont have ANY contact with her whatsoever for a long period of time, and go out and find yourself another ladie. That's the easiest way to eliminate the problem short-term (and longterm if your lucky ) . Oh and dont look at porn. It will surely make you sadder. Good luck

[caston]

Suffering leads to attachment.

We will never be able to end suffering. Lets focus on ending worrying instead.

[Infernity]

Just try some crack.

Stay away from substance abuse. Strip club might help (not being serious, but it worked for Dave Chappelle).

Lol, it was a joke

-Infernity

[caston]

Valium in a very short term solution to deal with extreme distress.

If possible, move out and set up a new place. Also treat yourself to some new clothes, technology, a holiday, a sportscar - whatever your budget allows.

If he could afford sports cars I don't think he'd be worrying about his ex for very long

[FunkOdyssey]

Some great advice here. I would suggest you implement it in a couple stages though. First do this:

If possible, move out and set up a new place. Also treat yourself to some new clothes, technology, a holiday, a sportscar - whatever your budget allows. Make yourself happy. Get a membership to a new gym. Learn a foreign language.

Which will prepare you to successfully do this:

best way to get over a girl, is another girl... never fails

That is the winning formula in my experience. If you jump right into #2 without doing your homework first, with your self-esteem and confidence still battered down from the breakup, your prospects are not good.

[Athanasios]

Good advice Funk.

I have had similar experience with that formula. For me, it is the healthiest and most enjoyable way to experience the cycle.

[ajnast4r]

if i may elaborate...

if you do jump into another girl, try not to make it a relationship.... cos eventually when that hurt wears off, more than likely you will realize you dont actually like the person your with. ie: dont hurt someone else to get over your own hurt. friends w/ benefits is the best way imo


i also agree with getting urself something nice. treating yourself always helps in my expirience.

[zoolander]

this is a time for introspection if you ask me. Feelings of loss tend to demonstrate that your motive for getting a girlfriend/partner is to fill a void. The void I am referring to is the void that involves a lack of self acceptance. You know, utilising the postive reinforcement or acceptance of others to gain an acceptance of self. A self, which in a lot of situations, is non-existant. An ego that thrives on solidifying its existence.

Man! It's a daily battle.

Girl or no girl, you will always suffer if you can't except the fact that you're nothing in the whole scheme of things. Sounds pretty harsh but the ego I refer to only exists if it believes it's something.

IMHO, where there is ego there is suffering. The origin of your suffering is desire. The idealistic view that your life will be better with a girl. The desire for something better than being by yourself.

[zoolander]

but hey if you want to take valium or jump straight into another relationship it's ok but keep in mind that you are running away from the situation and not dealing with it

That's my 20 cents

[zoolander]

without being profound then the most useful thing to do then is to masturbate more and to think less

[zoolander]

Question: are you writing a book and using this space for research?

[zoolander]

We will never be able to end suffering.