134 replies to this topic

[mitkat]

Ah damn. Another lonley night, tears on my pillow.
Wonder kisses Mitkat's tears away..................

Finally! [cry] Lol, oh, it's nice to have you on board here.

[basho]

My profile pic is of my boyfriend...he's so dreamy, such a rebel  [lol]  [lol]  [lol]  [mellow]

Great catch girlfriend! oh but the second you two break up..........

I clicked on the page [5] of this thread without first reading through the prior postings. [:o] It was truly a WTF moment.

[Infernity]

LOL, basho, hahaha


Anyways, you know you can change the settings so every 100 posts only you will get a separated page... I have it, so it's still the 1st page for me ^^ I suppose yours is set to 25...

-Infernity

[doug123]

AHHH Thank you Mitkat!! nootropikamil, that is just an Avatar pic. They only one I could find of a woman besides I really liked it!. I have no idea how to download pics on this forum. Even if I did I would  not use my pic as my avatar. I'll be happy to email you a pic if you want. I have nothing to hide, . I am a 45 year old married woman with 2 beautiful children and three amazing poodles!!

Then you should at least do a picture of your dogs for your profile!

[Centurion]

aww, hapilly married with kids, what more could ye want. I love kids, a friend of mine has 2 lovely wee twin sons, they are so adorable. Sometimes I think about what it would be like if I had kids.... I hope Grace never finds this website.. ever

[doug123]

When you make a reply, if you notice it says you can add an attachment. Find the .jpg or .gif, or .png file on your computer through windows explorer (if that's what you are running) and attach it; then we can see it!

Maybe someone else can tell you where to upload pics. Here are some places:

http://imageshack.us/

http://www.snapfish.com/uploadphotos

[garethnelsonuk]

Aww yes life is just peachy!!! Kids are great but being a parent is the hardest "job" you will ever encounter. It is also very rewarding!!  Just don't immunize your children with vaccines with thimerosol/mercury. Also space them out. Immunizations cause so much neurologicial damage. Why do you think we have so many children with Autism and ADD ? Also FYI the flu shot is loaded with thimerasol. I am only too familiar with the FDA's poisoning of our children. My beautiful 7 year old son is autistic.......................                                                                                              Giving mercury to children on purpose is inhumane. Demand mercury free vaccinations. Cure Autism now!!                                                                                                                                          http://www.awalkonwa...om/trailer.html

Cure ignorance now

[grainger]

Hey everyone....

I posted this a bit ago and have not been back ina few days to read the new posts. I never imagined that I would come back to see all the support and suggestions. I truly appreciate it.

I am going to use this time to fix a lot of the things that I was not doing that I should have. That is one of the factors in the breakup in the first place. She got fed up with my talking and lack of doing. I need to change this so that the next time around I can't be upset at myself for not giving 100%.

Another factor in the relationship ws intamcy issues. We were physical but I was not good at expressing y feelings with her. I did this at the end when I was begging her to stay but it was useless at this point.

The thing that is bothering me the most now is that I am having a lot of trouble focusing my mind on doing all the things that I need to do. All I can focus on is her and what ifs.

I joined a new gym and have been very good about going on a consistent basis. I have even been doing two a day workouts because it helps take my mind off of things.

I started to talk to someone that I used to see professionally 10 years ago while I was in highschool. We have only had one session so far but it seems like all the problems I had then are still around today and are at the root of why this relationship did not work either. At the very least I am going to use this opportunity to concentrate on myself and dealing with issues and problems that have been in my life for a long time.

Thanks again for all the support.

[grainger]

So in summary.......you broke up with your live in girlfriend and need help.

From what has been said you have 2 choices:

In my view

1. Run from what has happened and fill your life with things that will distract you from the pain, or
2. Deal with it. Contemplate. Search for the lesson is this experiance

Oh yeah, whilst I pushing my views I have one last thing to say.

Ignoring the painful/ugly/neutral/nasty/mundane things in life is to ignore a great deal of what makes up the full spectrum of your experiance. Reality.

To only see and listen to the things that make you happy is to live a narrow-minded life. Without eyes. Without ears. You'll be living in a world that's pulled over your eyes that hides you from the truth.

The truth that you're gay and should've come out of the closest along time ago.

'nuff said

[tung]

Zoolander,

I agree with you and personally want to take path #2

I think that running and ignoring my problems is what got me into the situation that I am currently in. I need to directly deal with these problems and never let them be a factor in my life moving forward.

I am just having a hard time going from seeing her so often and having her in my life to now not having her present at all.

[grainger]

Most of the following may have already been mentioned, but the combination should do the trick:

(1)  exercise  (1 hour+ daily ... get those endorphins flowing)
(2)  see a psycho-pharmacologist ... probably short-term treatment with an SSRI is appropriate.  I suspect a sedative like Xanax or Valium is probably counterproductive.
(3)  talk to a therapist -- need an outlet for your feelings.
(4)  start dating again when you are ready.
(5)  avoid alcohol and recreational drugs - these may deepen your depression and add to your issues.
(6)  spend time with your friends.  Try to avoid isolating yourself.

Like others here, I sympathize.  Life will have its ups and downs.  This is just a bad "down" and you will get over it eventually.

I have been diligent about performing excercise teh past few weeks and plan on making it a large part of my life again. I used to run at a high competition level in high school and the begining of college but had stopped due to some injuries. I need to slowly get back to where I was at that stage of my life. I know I need it for both my physical and mental health.

I also started talking to a therapist and am considering doing analysis with him. This is intense 4+ sessions per week.

I went out on a date on friday but found myself comparing the new girl to my ex and generally not being myself. I think it is too early for me.

I had two beers last night at a party and woke this morning feeling more down than usual. I am going to avoid alchahol 100% for a while now.

Thanks for the help!

[grainger]

wonder,

Thanks for the words of encouragment.

I am taking it one day at atime as they say

[grainger]

One thing I am finding to be a problem is my inner voice.

It keeps saying and thinking these things that are making me feel worse.

Thats why I do my two a day workouts because it is the only thing that lets my mind go clear for a while.

Any suggestions?

[grainger]

Its crazy but as time is passing by I am getting more and more depressed in spite of my excercise etc.

[mitkat]

These things happen too, it's just psychological mumbo-jumbo. I was really upset when my gf and I broke up way back in grade 11, things just seemed to get worse in time....but I forced myself to go out with a few of my friends, and ended up having one of the best summers of my life and falling into a larger group of friends (ones from elementary school). One day at a time is all you can take it as.

[zoolander]

Dude, I still have residual shit hanging around from my first girlfriend when I was 13. I'm 35 now

[Karomesis]

Dude, I still have residual shit hanging around from my first girlfriend when I was 13. I'm 35 now smile.gif

Holy shiite muslim, are you serious? That's a LONG time to think about a girl. [:o]

[Centurion]

I have 4 additional grey hairs around my fringe area since I last had my hair cut. I'm 20 and I'm greying like mad already

[zoolander]

Let me explain the residual shit I mentioned above. I'm a fairly respectable guy . No seriously. I have some strong morals related to relationships. One of the main ones is monogamy. When I was 13 I fell pretty hard for this girl. I use to play ice hockey and was a really good skater. This made me quite popular with the girls. This one girl that I fell for had very strict parents. Her father was in the air force and wouldn't let her come to the ice skating rink to be with me. So, this one time, I had some young 13 year old girl flirting and pushing herself onto me. She was sitting on my lap and kissed me. Just as she kissed me the girl I like entered the skating rink and saw what had happened. I felt really really bad.

So the residual shit is not necessarily bad because it tought me a little about hurting anothers feelings and losing someone you really liked. My point is that most of us have residual stuff hanging around from our previously relationships. IMO this is a part of growing as a person. You don't need to let the residual stuff or as some people call it "baggage" effect your life.

Everyone has baggage

[grainger]

I have a hard time letting her go. She has already started seeing someone new and they are getting serious. It has been over a month in her new relationship. She says that one day when I am over her she would like to be frieds still. That was the basis of our relationship anyway. It started as very good friends. The part I am having a hard time deling with is that by the time I am over her we will both be differet people and not know each other anymore. I simply won't care anymore.

I don't know....I am just having a hrad time dealing with the empty feeling inside of me and that fact that she has moved on and is happy hurts too.

[grainger]

I have an appointment to see a phramacologist ad I am considering taking some sort of anti-depressant.

I just don't know if this is the best long term solution for me. I need something that will pep me up but in a natural way. Gym helps but I can't spend 20+ hrs in there.

Any suggestions?

[Shepard]

You know what cures all ails?

Alcohol + Vegas

Try to stay near the big flashy lights.

[eternaltraveler]

I have a hard time letting her go. She has already started seeing someone new and they are getting serious. It has been over a month in her new relationship. She says that one day when I am over her she would like to be frieds still. That was the basis of our relationship anyway. It started as very good friends. The part I am having a hard time deling with is that by the time I am over her we will both be differet people and not know each other anymore. I simply won't care anymore.

don't even try to be her friend right now. That will come later. Right now being around her will only cause you pain. 6 months from now, then maybe you two can be friends.

[eternaltraveler]

I have an appointment to see a phramacologist ad I am considering taking some sort of anti-depressant.

I just don't know if this is the best long term solution for me. I need something that will pep me up but in a natural way. Gym helps but I can't spend 20+ hrs in there.

Any suggestions?

Yes, do your best to deal with it yourself. It's tough. Been there. But in the end you will be a better person for it. Pain is the fire in which we are forged.

[Centurion]

Nice quote. Not unlike Gene Roddenberry's "Time is the fire in which we burn"

[basho]

You know what cures all ails?

Alcohol + Vegas

Just don't overdo it, or you might wake up the next morning and find yourself married to Britney Spears.