(Note: I wrote this for another private forum, no references, just keeping it simple. Posting here without modification. A good reference for much of what I refer to below is the Whole Heath Source blog.)
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I'm sure a lot of people are looking to drop a little weight this year. No one likes to be deformed by fat, after all. But I will not offer advice on how to do this. Instead, here's advice on how to keep gaining weight, building up to one of many exciting chronic illnesses, like diabetes, cancer, vascular plaque build-up, brain fog, and even one of many forms of dementia. Getting illness is much easier than avoiding it, so might as well take the easy path. After all, we have a medical system in place that cures people, right!
Three easy steps:
[1] Eat grains. Who cares that they have practically no nutritional value (whole grains included), they spike insulin levels, and most grains (like wheat), contain a trash protein called gluten that is inflammatory to 95% of all humans, leading to chronic, systemic (body wide) inflammation. (Inflammation, btw, is a leading root cause of cancer and heart disease.) Grains, potatoes and rice have become the cheap-as-dirt filler ingredient found within most American meals. All three are pro-aging, anti-health, cheap filler foods that taste delicious, and will help you grow fat while singing, "I'm luvin' it!"
The fact is, very few people have the will-power to cut grains from their diet. Grains are everywhere. And the USDA -- a source we can trust! -- says they should be our number one source of calories. So why even try? We lived for nearly two million years without grains, but don't let that stop anyone from thinking they're absolute vital to our diet.
[2] Consume processed fructose. Fructose that's had from fruits likely won't make you noticeably fatter, so don't worry about fructose food in whole foods. Instead, shoot for the motherlode: fructose that's added to practically all processed foods, including those yummy grain-based foods like most bread. Or, go for the quick fix flavored liquid fructose, sometimes given brand names like Coke, Dr. Pepper, Gator-Ade, Snapple, Jones Cola, Arizona Tea. Really, practically all sweetened drinks are loaded with this fattening sugar, a sugar that does three wonderfully fattening things: First it converts quickly to triglyceride which is then stored as bodyfat. Second, it shuts down your liver's natural fat burning function for several hours. And third, it leads to leptin resistance, the necessary precursor to insulin resistance. (Leptin is the hormone that tells your body to burn more fat -- fructose consumption causes this hormone to become ineffective, so that your body holds on tighter to its fat stores. And who doesn't want to hang ont their fat!)
Butcha know what, who doesn't love sweet foods! Certainly we Americans love 'em! Our consumption of sugar has gone from virtually nothing in 1850, to 84 pounds per year in 1909, to 119 pounds in 1970, to 142 pounds in 2005. So bottoms-up to fructose.
[3] Consume omega-6 rich vegetable oils. Like sugar consumption, vegetable oils weren't really a part of the average American's diet 100 years ago. Now, like sugar, vegetable oil is ubiquitous is our food supply, from salad dressings, practically all packaged foods, fried foods, and even in health foods (like Atkins shakes, containing soy oil). There's only a handful of vegetable oils that are not omega-6 rich: primarily olive oil, avocado oil, and macadamia nut oil. All the rest, like corn, soy, safflower, canola, peanut and sunflower oil, are all packed with high-inflammatory omega-6 oils.
What's fun about these oils is that they integrate themselves within practically every cell of our body, and have a half-life of two years -- so they get to stick around and do their thing: chronic inflammation. Animal models show that compared to a low intake of vegetable oils, higher intake leads to a correlated increase in cancer rate and arterial plaque, and a correlated increase in fat retention. Human studies confirm this. Unlike saturated fat, it's vegetable oil that makes people fat and leads to heart disease. So, seek out fried foods, salad dressings, artificial butters, cakes/donuts/cookies. It's easy to find this oil. Pretty much anything unnatural has it!
There ya go. No one plans to stick to a healthy diet anyway, so why even try. Now you know exactly what leads to "Western disease" (a.k.a. metabolic syndrome) and a fat-deformed body. And best of all, fast food restaurants like McDonald's specialize in all three of these! I couldn't be easier.
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Made edit: should have said "Posting here without modification."
Edited by DukeNukem, 29 December 2008 - 02:23 AM.