10 replies to this topic

[bern004]

Last weekend I did some pretty stupid things, totally unlike me, as my true 'drug abuse' phase I consider to be a thing of the past. I'm posting it here because I've been feeling adverse effects for a week afterward, and it doesn't appear to be improving. Anyway, here's what I put in my body...

12 PM - Modafinil, 50mg
9 PM - Aniracetam, 700mg
9:15 PM - Alcohol, 2 drinks
10:00 PM - Phenibut, 500mg
10:45 - Alcohol, 3 drinks
12 AM - Selegiline, 1mg
11:30-6 AM - Marijuana, repeated
11:30-6 AM - Cocaine, repeated, 1.25g - Note: I do not in any way shape or form condone the use of this substance. It is dirty and destructive... but I was drinking.

I ended up pulling an all nighter, and had to be on a plane the next day. Needless to say, add the all-nighter to the mix and I was pretty out of it for the next few days.

The problem is, ever since that night, I've experienced a massive amount of "airheadedness" and depression. I find it difficult to concentrate, or smile. I don't feel like myself. I look in the mirror, and I don't even see me. I see a wreck. I also feel like I've experienced some minor hair loss in the wake of that night, but I'm not sure if that's real or perceived. I feel like I aged a year. It's now been 6 days, and I feel maybe only a very slight bit of improvement.

I've also been incredibly tired and feel weak in the mornings. I can't summon energy. I can't go on my normal daily runs or workouts at the gym.

What can I do to improve my situation? I'm trying to eat healthy and avoiding all substance use, although today I did take half a tab of Modafinil in an effort to feel more "awake". I swear I'll never touch cocaine again. I also am not going to touch cannabis for a long, long time.

[platypus]

It will pass once you rest enough and eat well. Consider cutting caffeine and taking an OTC or prescription sleeping-pill to knock you out for 10 hours two nights in a row.

[Sunwind]

aside from the cocaine which I know nothing about, the rest of what you took seems quite tame to me. I'm betting it's the cocaine, or at least the cocaine mixed with the rest.

> I don't feel like myself. I look in the mirror, and I don't even see me.

I abused M1 for roughly a week, and then for 3 months afterwards I had de-realization / de-personalization and I thought it was never going to end, I thought that I had royally fucked up my brain for the rest of my life, but thankfully it passed and I'm back to normal now, or even better I suppose since starting nootropics. I'm sure it will pass, just keep reminding yourself it will go away, and you're just going to have to stick through it, and not do it again once you get better.

Edited by Sunwind, 22 June 2013 - 08:03 PM.

[bern004]

Thanks for the replies guys.

It's now been 9 days and I'm still feeling really out of it. I am really starting to get scared. I feel really self conscious and keep zoning out, and my head feels empty. I almost had a panic attack last night, and then another one again today.

I guess I'll just try to wait this out...

Edited by bern004, 24 June 2013 - 09:17 PM.

[alexburke]

I can't touch that cocaine stuff.. It makes me depressed instantly then like you I feel out of it for a few days.
You did MUCH more then I did tho.

[macropsia]

Eat really well and take a (good) multivitamin for starters.
You might try taking a bit of l-deprenyl (not daily or anything, just maybe a mg or three once-off) in order to recover from what is at least partially due to dopamine depletion and dysregulation (I don't know long 'depletion' lasts, or if that is an outmoded hyposthesis, but it probably can't hurt). The alcohol+'racetam thing can feel utterly devastating... I've done that once.

You might also try curcumin in the possibility of there being an inflammatory component (possibly not at the same time as the deprenyl.. I have no experience with that interaction and they are both mao inhibitors, though for type b and a respectively). I used to load up on neurotransmitter precursors when recovering from similar situations involving stimulants.
Is your sleep disrupted? Melatonin helps some sleep deeper... If you have GHB or GBL available to you I find they can help 'reset' one's sleep/wakefulness cycles where melatonin fails.

...and while exercise probably seems like the least appealing thing in the world, it is probably good for what ails you. I can certainly vouch for its painful efficacy in dealing with wretched stimulant hangovers/aftereffects.

Though it isn't great long-term, cannabis has certainly helped me pull through some disastrous hangovers and functionally-retarded psychoactive-related life event reprecussions. Preferably a non-smoked form though. No point in adding respiratory distress, however 'mild' to the mix...

'this too shall pass'... Hope you feel better. Keep posted.

[machete234]

Are you completely off all your stuff, that could explain some of it too.
That means if you were on moda or other mood lifting things and you aren't now that makes it worse.

I agree that you should probably eat a lot and sleep more than usual for a while.

I have done a similar thing with ani alcohol amd ethylphenidate and I was OK after like a week.

Edited by machete234, 04 July 2013 - 08:47 AM.

[Doktor]

OP: You're just being paranoid. Take it from someone who has done SHITLOADS of dangerous drug combinations in the past... it takes a LOT to make you permanently "not ok". The most fucked up I've ever felt was after a night of Absinthe, Ketamine, Methylone, and Mephedrone... I felt like I was barely clinging to my body the next day, almost complete depersonalization/derealization. Felt fine after a few days.

Get some exercise, eat well, and rest. I think a lot of people skimp on the exercise part. REAL VIGOROUS exercise... it will help beyond measure.

Oh yeah, and WHAT the hell were you thinking combining selegiline with cocaine!? Assuming you're taking selegiline because you know what it does... that was a pretty dumb combination. A nice recipe for a heart attack / stroke.

[Doktor]

I can't touch that cocaine stuff.. It makes me depressed instantly then like you I feel out of it for a few days.
You did MUCH more then I did tho.

99% chance you got bunk cocaine then... pretty much all coke is cut with caffeine, amphetamine analogs, MDPV or similar... Real high quality cocaine I believe is a potent triple re-uptake inhibitor. Basically, aside from getting anxious, I've never heard of anyone getting depressed from good cocaine. It's just - from a physiological standpoint - very unlikely. The real stuff is actually quite intoxicating, not as tweaky as you think, and definitely significantly sertonergic in it's effects.

Not that I'm advocating cocaine use... but I did have my fair share at one point in time, and I know that 90% of the stuff I got my hands on was shit. Basically why it's a dumb idea to get into cocaine.

[machete234]

I would have tried cocaine but the price seems really high at least in europe, it seems 100€ for 1g of decent quality stuff.
For that I can get half a years supply of cannabis when smoking weekly (THC is rediculously effective for me), more speed and tweaky substances like MDPV than I could ever want (I know a lot about these RCs) and also a years supply of modafinil.

This is why coke is maybe number 10 on my list of things that I might want to try in the future.

Im not an addicted personality but coke screwed many people up, heroin and cocaine is often said in one breath, why spend a fortune on something that will fuck me up?

[bern004]

macropsia: Thanks for your detailed post. Very reassuring. I try to avoid Melatonin as while it helps me fall asleep, it doesn't actually help me sleep longer. But I will say that, more than anything, moderate to heavy exercise has helped TREMENDOUSLY. I've taken to running and going to the gym every single day.

Doktor: Yeah, I wasn't really thinking.

It's been 3 weeks now and I feel fine. Much much better, the fear and anxiety has dissipated. Thanks for the replies--I was really worried there for a while.