Hey guys,
I've been brought up religious though I was never practicing it, I was really skeptical about religion as it is. But what I do believed in was spirituality, I always thought/believed the mind and spirit were two separate things. The first psychosis I went through had a (deep-grounded) spiritual aspect to it. If I would tell my story/psychosis in a spiritual way it all makes sense, however if I look at it scientifically there's no distinction between the mind and spirit and I'm wrong.
When I accepted science that my brain was "sick", I got rid of all my religious/spiritual believes and became an atheist for 5 years. When my second psychosis occurred I made a 180 degrees turn and became agnostic. I had my third, fourth and fifth (spiritual) psychosis but I remained skeptical about both spirituality and science and to this day I remain agnostic.
Anyway, slowly working up to my question. When I broke my relationship with my childhood girlfriend and we separated in really bad terms on both sides 13 years ago. I had this reoccurring dream where she didn't talk to me anymore, in real life but also in my dreams, this dream repeated itself for many years. Two years ago I've send her a short message that I'm sorry for (unconsciously) hurting her and that I wanted to talk things through with her. She didn't respond and I thought she didn't want to so I moved on.
Yesterday I had a vivid dream where she stepped up to me and just about when she wanted to talk to me all of a sudden my bedroom window flew right open and I woke up. Yesterday I stood still trying/thinking to figure out if this meant something, meanwhile when I was thinking I vaguely recalled that the content of my dreams I've once had (where she didn't talk to me anymore) had changed after my message to her. I recalled that she (in my dreams) was trying different ways to get in contact with me again but they were never as strong as this last dream where she stepped up to me.
I've written this on several sites and got different reply's (the most favoring was that I should contact her again in real-life). I myself am "confused", is my mind/dreams playing tricks on me or do some dreams really carry deep-grounded messages? (In the series Sopranos this issue about dreams and the meaning of dreams and/or the message is discussed several times between main character and his pdoc. I don't know if this is pure for the series or do psychologist/psychiatrists really talk about content of dreams in real-life?)
What are your opinions?