I've been taking seroquel every night for as long as I can remember for insomnia (except for periods of time where I either drank myself to sleep or took phenibut), and I decided to quit cold turkey. The official reason I have it prescribed is because of diagnosis of Bipolar NOS, the rest of my diagnoses are ADHD-PI, Generalized anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. I also take:
10mg lexapro (escitalopram) a day
10mg of focalin (Dexmethylphenidate) 2x/day or as needed
0.2mg clonidine as needed
The reason why I'm diagnosed bipolar is most likely because of a few incidents in my teens where I got extremely angry and the police were called and I went to the psych ward, not being to happy to be there. I know for a fact I'm not bipolar, because I never get manic, unless I am severely sleep deprived or too high on whatever drug.
I don't want to think of my brain as a defective product with a label on it, but what I'm sure of is I have anhedonia, the ADHD-PI, and schizoid personality disorder. I've been sort of obsessed with mental disorders because when I was about 10 or 11 my dad would keep talking about bipolar disorder and that I probably inherited it from him, and when he got manic he would always play doctor and tell me I had all these mental disorders which made me confused and scared since I was only 11.
Fast forward to 12, I started stealing my dad's pills, xanax and adderall. At first it was just 1mg of xanax a few times a week but it escalated, and that addiction went on well into my teens. The adderall changed my life completely. It made me feel happy, before that I was socially awkward, anxious, OCD, etc. But that didn't last long because a month later my dad found out I was going through his pills and hid everything.
At that point I came up with the brilliant idea of faking adhd to a psychiatrist to get adderall (to be honest I thought I had some mental disorder). I ended up on concerta and various antidepressants, SSRIs, SNRIs, atypical antipsychotics, anticonvulsants, etc. But the concerta I pretty much stuck with except for the times I had to switch doctors and they wouldn't prescribe me it.
Anyways, at one point in my teens I started to use DXM, which I still use occasionally (I'm 20 now), and I also found out about over the counter speed (benzedrex inhalers). Since I could never get real adderall I would take benzedrex 3 times a week for years, up until about 2 months ago. The effects are as close to meth as I can imagine.
2 months ago I decided to stop taking them since they were very unpleasant, to ingest them you swallow a cotton rod soaked in menthol and lavendar, and propylhexedrine (benzedrex) also causes intense vasoconstriction. Well, I've been running low on focalin lately and decided to do benzedrex again yesterday. This time it was more clean, since clonidine is an alpha agonist, it erradicated the cardiovascular side effects completely, and I felt good again. It wore off hours ago and I feel like shit now, but I'm deciding this is also a good time to quit seroquel cold turkey. Because it's extremely unhealthy to be dependent on seroquel for sleep, and taking an antipsychotic after a massive upregulation of dopamine while being on an SSRI and an NDRI can't be good at all.
Sorry for the really long post, this is the first time I really explained my whole situation on a forum. I guess this was mostly rambling, but if anyone can give any sort of input that would be great.
