38 replies to this topic

[andcrew]

Hello everyone. I am suffering from something very strange which I don't really understand. I will be very grateful if you can help me determine what is wrong with me, if you have experienced this condition and how can I recover from it. I will share my story and my current symptoms. Thanks in advance!

 

My story:

In May 2016 after a tough split up with my ex-girlfriend I was very sad and was thinking about her all day every day. With this on my mind I made a decision that I will not think about her and take control over my thoughts. This led me to start doing meditation. I did 30min a day of meditation just to quiet my mind and block incoming thoughts. Later on I would start doing visualization exercises – imagining stuff and planning the future. I was constantly looking to block all incoming thoughts about her just so that I don’t feel bad. After doing 1 month of meditation I was still feeling normal, nothing really seems to have changed. I was still thinking about here every day and that made me sad. Then one day in the end of June I found the book The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I read the book for 3 days, reaching the middle of the book where something happened. I was really believing in what I was reading and was pondering on every piece of information there – that I am not my mind, I don’t need an ego, I have to live in the present etc. Then on the 3^rd day of reading I felt suddenly very scared and anxious. I felt something was changing within me. I got scared and went out with a friend of mine. While we were out I suddenly got a strong headache in the back of my head and felt that I was going to faint and die. After this happened the whole world felt unreal – a very strong derealisation. This is where all changed for me. After this happened I couldn’t sleep for days, I couldn’t think about anything, couldn’t focus at all, could not meditate, basically I thought I was going crazy and felt suicidal. I couldn’t follow conversations as well like I wasn’t receiving the information from anything. With this happening I forgot my ex-girlfriend – as I said I was thinking about her every day all day and after this change I wasn’t thinking at all about her like I couldn’t connect to this pattern of thinking and it didn’t bother me anymore. By that time I was in the UK but when my mother listened to what happened to me she insisted that I return home to Bulgaria. When I returned I was sent to a mental ward because of my symptoms and they diagnosed me with Psychosis, which I don’t believe I had. I stayed for 2 weeks in there and was put on anti-psychotics ( Olanzapine). For about 1 month I was unable to do anything at all – neither watch TV or follow conversations like I didn’t have a mind to process anything – it was really terrible. This is the beginning of my story and I want to share how I have been feeling for the past 5 months after leaving the mental ward.

Current Symptoms:

-        Unability to visualise anything with my mind. I can barely see stuff in my Mind’s eye and when I do it is for a moment and they are very dark and distant, whereas before I could picture a lot of stuff in my head without a problem and hold on to the images and scenes I was creating.

-        Can’t track time. Have a feeling that it is going too quick. Feeling timeless. Stuck in 1 moment.

-        Mind is empty – no thinking about future, past or anything. When I do think I can barely hear my thoughts. They seem as they are not mine and are very distant and can’t even distract me.

-        Absolutely no retention of new information – I can read something whole day and won’t be able to recall the information I have read about. It feels like at the moment of reading I am understanding what is said but afterwards the information doesn’t end up anywhere and can only think about it when I am directly asked a question about the information, otherwise I won’t be able to recall it.

-        I can’t get into doing anything because I don’t see a point in doing anything. It is like I can’t imagine why would I do a certain thing and how it can benefit me. It is like I don’t have the ability to see a point in doing something.

-        Disconnected from memories – they seem very distant, even yesterday seems very distant. I can’t relate to my memories like they happened to somebody else.

-        No inner dialogue – nothing to stimulate me to do anything with my life. Nothing to tell me ‘get up you have to do that’ or ‘get on with your life’ etc. I can stay whole day and do nothing and won’t have anything in my head to tell me what I am doing is wrong, whereas before that if I am lazy for an hour my inner voice will tell me to get up and start making something with my life. It is gone now.

-        Not feeling any emotions – I don’t feel anger, anxiety, sadness, happiness, excitement all of them. I try even provoking them but it doesn’t work, like they don’t exist. I was having an anxiety disorder before this but after what happened it seems like I don’t even know what anxiety is. Like I can’t understand it.

-        Feeling like an observer – when I watch TV or listen to music for example I can’t get my mind into it. Like you know when you are listening to music and you are focused you start daydreaming and creating stuff in your mind connected to the music or have emotions. In my case it feels like I am just observing the music. I know the song which is played but that is all, can’t get my mind into it.

-        Nothing to speak about when I am with friends or family. I used to speak a lot before, always has a topic to share or discuss whereas now it seems like I have nothing in my mind to share, even if something comes in my head and I share it I don’t feel anything towards it. Like it doesn’t bring any pleasure communicating and I can’t make sense of it.

-        All of my dreams and ambitions has suddenly vanished and don’t make sense to me. Like I can’t imagine why I would want anything in the first place. Like there is nothing to be wanted from life. Can’t see any positives or negatives.

-        Feels like I don’t exist – When I try speaking to myself in my head it seems like it doesn’t resonate anywhere or have any effect. It is like I am talking to nothing if that makes sense. I used talk a lot to myself for motivation but now it doesn’t make sense. Like there is nothing there to motivate or a person that I am talking to. This is very hard for me to explain, hope it made sense.

-        Can’t connect to the people around me – it feels like I can’t make any connection or understand the people around me. Like nothing interests me or I don’t care about a thing in the world.

-        Feels like my mind can’t be provoked by anything. I have a feeling that even if a bomb drops within 1km of me I won’t care, like it won’t make any impression on my mind or said in other words it is like I am not understanding or making sense of the stuff around me.

-        Slight derealisation – seeing object a little bit blurred

-        Feeling like I am in a dream and don’t experience anything of what is happening.

-        Nothing makes sense around me – I don’t understand why people would work or make money or follow dreams, it feels like I can’t grasp these things with my mind, like they don’t exist – very hard to understand for me.

-        Very bad short term and long term memory. Would also wonder if I have done something or not.

-        Feels like my mind is restarting every minute. If I lose track of my thought process after 1 minute it seems like it never occurred I can’t recall it

-        Very hard to use my knowledge – seems like everything I have known is locked away somewhere and I can’t access it. Feeling very dumb.

-        I can’t think properly – very hard to get any information from my head and when I want to do it hurts my head.My story:

In May 2016 after a tough split up with my ex-girlfriend I was very sad and was thinking about her all day every day. With this on my mind I made a decision that I will not think about her and take control over my thoughts. This led me to start doing meditation. I did 30min a day of meditation just to quiet my mind and block incoming thoughts. Later on I would start doing visualization exercises – imagining stuff and planning the future. I was constantly looking to block all incoming thoughts about her just so that I don’t feel bad. After doing 1 month of meditation I was still feeling normal, nothing really seems to have changed. I was still thinking about here every day and that made me sad. Then one day in the end of June I found the book The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I read the book for 3 days, reaching the middle of the book where something happened. I was really believing in what I was reading and was pondering on every piece of information there – that I am not my mind, I don’t need an ego, I have to live in the present etc. Then on the 3^rd day of reading I felt suddenly very scared and anxious. I felt something was changing within me. I got scared and went out with a friend of mine. While we were out I suddenly got a strong headache in the back of my head and felt that I was going to faint and die. After this happened the whole world felt unreal – a very strong derealisation. This is where all changed for me. After this happened I couldn’t sleep for days, I couldn’t think about anything, couldn’t focus at all, could not meditate, basically I thought I was going crazy and felt suicidal. I couldn’t follow conversations as well like I wasn’t receiving the information from anything. With this happening I forgot my ex-girlfriend – as I said I was thinking about her every day all day and after this change I wasn’t thinking at all about her like I couldn’t connect to this pattern of thinking and it didn’t bother me anymore. By that time I was in the UK but when my mother listened to what happened to me she insisted that I return home to Bulgaria. When I returned I was sent to a mental ward because of my symptoms and they diagnosed me with Psychosis, which I don’t believe I had. I stayed for 2 weeks in there and was put on anti-psychotics ( Olanzapine). For about 1 month I was unable to do anything at all – neither watch TV or follow conversations like I didn’t have a mind to process anything – it was really terrible. This is the beginning of my story and I want to share how I have been feeling for the past 5 months after leaving the mental ward.

Current Symptoms:

-        Unability to visualise anything with my mind. I can barely see stuff in my Mind’s eye and when I do it is for a moment and they are very dark and distant, whereas before I could picture a lot of stuff in my head without a problem and hold on to the images and scenes I was creating.

-        Can’t track time. Have a feeling that it is going too quick. Feeling timeless. Stuck in 1 moment.

-        Mind is empty – no thinking about future, past or anything. When I do think I can barely hear my thoughts. They seem as they are not mine and are very distant and can’t even distract me.

-        Absolutely no retention of new information – I can read something whole day and won’t be able to recall the information I have read about. It feels like at the moment of reading I am understanding what is said but afterwards the information doesn’t end up anywhere and can only think about it when I am directly asked a question about the information, otherwise I won’t be able to recall it.

-        I can’t get into doing anything because I don’t see a point in doing anything. It is like I can’t imagine why would I do a certain thing and how it can benefit me. It is like I don’t have the ability to see a point in doing something.

-        Disconnected from memories – they seem very distant, even yesterday seems very distant. I can’t relate to my memories like they happened to somebody else.

-        No inner dialogue – nothing to stimulate me to do anything with my life. Nothing to tell me ‘get up you have to do that’ or ‘get on with your life’ etc. I can stay whole day and do nothing and won’t have anything in my head to tell me what I am doing is wrong, whereas before that if I am lazy for an hour my inner voice will tell me to get up and start making something with my life. It is gone now.

-        Not feeling any emotions – I don’t feel anger, anxiety, sadness, happiness, excitement all of them. I try even provoking them but it doesn’t work, like they don’t exist. I was having an anxiety disorder before this but after what happened it seems like I don’t even know what anxiety is. Like I can’t understand it.

-        Feeling like an observer – when I watch TV or listen to music for example I can’t get my mind into it. Like you know when you are listening to music and you are focused you start daydreaming and creating stuff in your mind connected to the music or have emotions. In my case it feels like I am just observing the music. I know the song which is played but that is all, can’t get my mind into it.

-        Nothing to speak about when I am with friends or family. I used to speak a lot before, always has a topic to share or discuss whereas now it seems like I have nothing in my mind to share, even if something comes in my head and I share it I don’t feel anything towards it. Like it doesn’t bring any pleasure communicating and I can’t make sense of it.

-        All of my dreams and ambitions has suddenly vanished and don’t make sense to me. Like I can’t imagine why I would want anything in the first place. Like there is nothing to be wanted from life. Can’t see any positives or negatives.

-        Feels like I don’t exist – When I try speaking to myself in my head it seems like it doesn’t resonate anywhere or have any effect. It is like I am talking to nothing if that makes sense. I used talk a lot to myself for motivation but now it doesn’t make sense. Like there is nothing there to motivate or a person that I am talking to. This is very hard for me to explain, hope it made sense.

-        Can’t connect to the people around me – it feels like I can’t make any connection or understand the people around me. Like nothing interests me or I don’t care about a thing in the world.

-        Feels like my mind can’t be provoked by anything. I have a feeling that even if a bomb drops within 1km of me I won’t care, like it won’t make any impression on my mind or said in other words it is like I am not understanding or making sense of the stuff around me.

-        Slight derealisation – seeing object a little bit blurred

-        Feeling like I am in a dream and don’t experience anything of what is happening.

-        Nothing makes sense around me – I don’t understand why people would work or make money or follow dreams, it feels like I can’t grasp these things with my mind, like they don’t exist – very hard to understand for me.

-        Very bad short term and long term memory. Would also wonder if I have done something or not.

-        Feels like my mind is restarting every minute. If I lose track of my thought process after 1 minute it seems like it never occurred I can’t recall it

-        Very hard to use my knowledge – seems like everything I have known is locked away somewhere and I can’t access it. Feeling very dumb.

-        I can’t think properly – very hard to get any information from my head and when I want to do it hurts my head.

[hdl_1]

Hang in there. Those are all side effects of Olanzapine treatment. Are you still on the medication? I'll put togheter a list of natural supplements that will help you get the healing process going as soon as I get back home.

Sent from my SM-G850W using Tapatalk

[andcrew]

Hang in there. Those are all side effects of Olanzapine treatment. Are you still on the medication? I'll put togheter a list of natural supplements that will help you get the healing process going as soon as I get back home.

Sent from my SM-G850W using Tapatalk

Thanks for you reply. I haven't been taking it for more than 1 month but the problem is I got the symptoms even before my treatment with Olanzapine. Like I didn't have any cognition, couldn't sleep etc. So the olanzapine helped with that I think. I will be grateful for the supplements. 

[registered]

why did you stop olanzapine anyway?

 

 

[andcrew]

why did you stop olanzapine anyway?

Because It wasn't really doing a lot. I still felt disconnected and all the other symptoms I put. So I didn't see a point in taking it

[Flow]

Idk if i can help with your condition OP, but would like to express my sympathy and wish you to get better.

It got me interested as i experience some of those symptoms but only for brief periods and they are kinda light/non interfering with normal life. I have dysautonomia and chronic fatigue so i figured my autonomic nervous system acts up weirdly at times, producing those effects.

I found supplements/nootropics that are helpful for me to regain mental edge and motivation by trial and error, which took few years. How familiar are you with brain supplements discussed around here? Did you try anything except that prescription med?

If you are looking for noot stack to try to jump start your brain, this is what worked for me the best:

- vit b complex to make sure there is no lack of essentials
- coenzime q10
- pregnenolone
- noopept (cycling with)
- phenylpiracetam

But it could be something different for you.

[hdl_1]

Hang in there. Those are all side effects of Olanzapine treatment. Are you still on the medication? I'll put togheter a list of natural supplements that will help you get the healing process going as soon as I get back home.
 

Below is the list.

 

On a side note, you can find similar experiences like yours on multiple forums from people that were treated with antipsychotics, including Olanzapine. You are actually lucky that you were able to  discontinue after 5 months. Some long term use effects are very debilitating (i.e. tardive dyskenisia, akathisia, dystonia, gray matter reduction, metabolism syndrome, diabetes, etc, etc.)

 

https://www.madiname...shing-betrayal/

 

 

Below are some of the natural supplements which are useful to get you back to health. You can purchase them in bulk to drive down the cost (ex. Powdercity. There are others as well)

 

As I previously said, hang in there, you will eventually get better in time.

 

Melatonin – potent antioxydant, Olanzapine may create depletion, used to counter metabolism disorder

 

http://www.nature.co...s/1301093a.html

 

B6 (P5P bioavailable form)

B12 (methylcobalamin – bioavailable form)

Both essential for brain development and function

 

http://www.sciencedi...149763414002048

 

NAC – N-Acetyl-cysteine

Very useful on many levels – replenishes glutathione, potent antioxydant

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm...les/PMC3044191/

 

Curcumin & Piperine (to improve curcumin bio-availability) – reduce inflammation (potential side effect of antipsycothics) & enable BDNF synthesis used in brain regeneration

 

http://fulltext.stud...pdf/2565183.pdf

 

Vitamin C – antioxidant, multiple benefits (you can look up on the net)

 

Magnesium (citrate or glycinate – look for bioavailable forms) – good overall to reduce anxiety, nervousness and improve sleep

 

Vitamin D and Zinc – both important for brain function

 

L-tryptophan (boosts serotonin) – amino acid – could be worth a try to diminish depressive symptoms which may be caused by low serotonin

 

Alpha GPC – choline source to boost acetylcholine - may be useful to improve alertness

 

Adaptogens – helps your brain deal with stress and repair

Bacopa Monnieri

Ashwagandha

L-Theanine

 

CoQ10 & Fish oil – may be good to consider as well

 

Non-natural (Nootropics) - some of this may only be purchased from online pharmacies (not sure which ones, I bring them directly from Russia. I’m sure some of the follow members have good sources for this.)

 

Mexidol – russian nootropic

PDF from scholar article

http://photos.imagee...exidolPaper.pdf

 

“Mexidol is permitted for wide therapeutic application. Clinical studies proved mexidol's high therapeutic effect for the treatment of various neurological, mental and cardiovascular diseases [19, 24]. The preparation revealed high effectiveness in the treatment of neurotic and pseudoneurotic disorders [2, 31, 38, 39, 52], different alcoholism-caused disorders including the abstinence syndrome [20, 29], acute and chronic disorders of cerebral circulation including strokes [18, 41, 51, 49], discircular encephalopathy and vegetovascular histonia [50, 53], the disorders of brain functions caused by aging and atherosclerosis [21, 35, 44], acute neuroleptic intoxication. “

 

Noopept – improve cognitive functions, anti-anxiety effects (many sources on the net)

 

Mildronate (Meldonium) – improves glucose utilization be the brain (which may have been screwed up by the antipshycotics)

*not to take with L-carnitine – nulls the effets

 

http://www.sciencedi...024320508003457

 

 

I wish you well!

[niner]

andcrew, I'm not a psychiatrist, but it sounds like depression is a large part of this.  There may be other psychiatric dimensions to your situation, but I suspect that if you got the depression under control you would feel a great deal better.  Cognitive behavioral therapy in combination with antidepressant drugs is the approach that seems to work best per the world of conventional medicine.  That's where I'd start.  I don't think that conventional supplements will help very much here.  You might have good results with something in the "research chemical" area; in this department I'd take a look at NSI-189.   I doubt that what you are feeling are olanzapine side effects, since you felt that way prior to taking olanzapine.  I think it was just the wrong drug for you.

[jaiho]

Don't swear off meds or anti psychotics because you had one bad experience. Many make that mistake and live a life of depression & anhedonia, devoid of joy.

Keep working with your psychiatrist, and therapy. Try different medications & treatments. You will recover.

[andcrew]

Thanks for your answers! But how would you explain this - I feel like my mind is empty or rather that I don't have a mind or a self. Don't really know how to explain it. It is like I am just observing stuff and my mind never gets impressed or anything. You can tell me the scariest story and I won't be afraid like my mind wouldn't understand why should it be afraid or like there is no one to be afraid if that makes sense. I feel like there is no one there in my mind, like there is no "me". When I talk it seems like it is automatic and whatever is said doesn't affect me in any way. I don't get sad, happy or whatever, feels like these stuff don't exist for me on any level. It really feels like on some level I don't exist and I don't see it as a temporary thing because for the last 6 months it hasn't changed a bit no matter what I do. Feels like my personality or soul or I don't know something is gone. It is like everything that I had ambitions, dreams, fears, desires are not there. I don't have my inner voice and my thoughts seem like are happening 20m away from me - they are very quiet. Don't even know what this empty state is. Does anyone has an idea?

[hdl_1]

Thanks for your answers! But how would you explain this - I feel like my mind is empty or rather that I don't have a mind or a self. Don't really know how to explain it. It is like I am just observing stuff and my mind never gets impressed or anything. You can tell me the scariest story and I won't be afraid like my mind wouldn't understand why should it be afraid or like there is no one to be afraid if that makes sense. I feel like there is no one there in my mind, like there is no "me". When I talk it seems like it is automatic and whatever is said doesn't affect me in any way. I don't get sad, happy or whatever, feels like these stuff don't exist for me on any level. It really feels like on some level I don't exist and I don't see it as a temporary thing because for the last 6 months it hasn't changed a bit no matter what I do. Feels like my personality or soul or I don't know something is gone. It is like everything that I had ambitions, dreams, fears, desires are not there. I don't have my inner voice and my thoughts seem like are happening 20m away from me - they are very quiet. Don't even know what this empty state is. Does anyone has an idea?

Here's an example of someone that was medicated with antipsychotics. I think that you will recognize many of the symptoms that you currently have.

https://drugs-forum....ad.php?t=215356

[dreamedm]

Here's an example of someone that was medicated with antipsychotics. I think that you will recognize many of the symptoms that you currently have.

https://drugs-forum....ad.php?t=215356

 

 

That's totally different. That's a zombie-induced state caused by antipsychotics. I've had that once for a week, after using Risperdal. What the OP describes is more related to Depersonalization, and I experience the same thing as him, the same symptoms. It's quite different than the zombie state caused by antipsychotics.

[hdl_1]

That's totally different. That's a zombie-induced state caused by antipsychotics. I've had that once for a week, after using Risperdal. What the OP describes is more related to Depersonalization, and I experience the same thing as him, the same symptoms. It's quite different than the zombie state caused by antipsychotics.

Interesting. This could explain the initial symptoms before treatment with antipsychotics. You could be right that this is the cause. Antipsychotics may have created a new set of secondary issues (i.e. blank mind/no thought process)

[gamesguru]

Don't swear off meds or anti psychotics because you had one bad experience. Many make that mistake and live a life of depression & anhedonia, devoid of joy.

Keep working with your psychiatrist, and therapy. Try different medications & treatments. You will recover.

 

bubba, i got just one question for you today. which of the common neuroleptics are known to relieve anhedonia? toodaloo~

 

the zombie withdrawal state actually shares a lot in common with the depersonalized state, including the characteristic glutamate and dopamine dysfunction.  it's a feature of many axis II disorders.  best to stay away from any potent dopaminergics, e.g. weed, risperidone.  just the standard stuff really: ginkgo, bacopa, ginseng, turmeric.. magnesium, zinc, good diet, exercise, etc..  interestingly i found out that tribulus is one of the more effective herbs against stress related anhedonia, there were a few others cant be arsed to dredge up

Edited by gamesguru, 01 January 2017 - 07:54 PM.

[jaiho]

 

 

bubba, i got just one question for you today. which of the common neuroleptics are known to relieve anhedonia? toodaloo~

 

All of them.

They won't treat it alone, they are very useful as augmentation with an SSRI or SNRI. Mostly due to the 5HT2A Antagonism.

Some people will enter a zombie/anhedonia state from one SSRI. brain chemistry changes with any of these medications.

Heck, people will enter this state from smoking weed once.

 

Treatment is the same. If all natural remedies have been attempted, broad range drugs are required.

 

 

[Hip]

Andcrew, you say your symptoms started after a strong headache that you felt in the back of your head.

 

I wonder if you may have had encephalitis (brain infection).

 

 

It sounds like you may have a bit of derealisation, but that mostly you have depersonalization:

Depersonalization or depersonalisation can consist of a reality or detachment within the self, regarding one's mind or body, or being a detached observer of oneself. Subjects feel they have changed and that the world has become vague, dreamlike, less real, or lacking in significance.

 

 

Have you looked at the drugs naltrexone and naloxone, which can cure both conditions: see this post.  

 

 

 

Edited by Hip, 02 January 2017 - 06:04 AM.

[Hip]

Here is how the Mayo Clinic describe derealization and depersonalization: 

 

Symptoms of depersonalization include:

 

• Feelings that you're an outside observer of your thoughts, feelings, your body or parts of your body, perhaps as if you were floating in air above yourself
• Feeling like a robot or that you're not in control of your speech or movements
• The sense that your body, legs or arms appear distorted, enlarged or shrunken, or that your head is wrapped in cotton
• Emotional or physical numbness of your senses or responses to the world around you
• A sense that your memories lack emotion, and that they may or may not be your own memories

Symptoms of derealization include:

• Feelings of being alienated from or unfamiliar with your surroundings, perhaps like you're living in a movie
• Feeling emotionally disconnected from people you care about, as if you were separated by a glass wall
• Surroundings that appear distorted, blurry, colorless, two-dimensional or artificial, or a heightened awareness and clarity of your surroundings
• Distortions in perception of time, such as recent events feeling like distant past
• Distortions of distance and the size and shape of objects

 

Episodes of depersonalization-derealization disorder may last hours, days, weeks or even months at a time. In some people, these episodes turn into ongoing feelings of depersonalization or derealization that may periodically get better or worse.

 

 

[psychejunkie]

any tl;dr version?

[andcrew]

any tl;dr version?

Sorry but I don't really understand what you mean by this. Can you elaborate? Do you mean what the doctors are saying?

 

 

Andcrew, you say your symptoms started after a strong headache that you felt in the back of your head.

 

I wonder if you may have had encephalitis (brain infection).

 

 

It sounds like you may have a bit of derealisation, but that mostly you have depersonalization:

Depersonalization or depersonalisation can consist of a reality or detachment within the self, regarding one's mind or body, or being a detached observer of oneself. Subjects feel they have changed and that the world has become vague, dreamlike, less real, or lacking in significance.

 

 

Have you looked at the drugs naltrexone and naloxone, which can cure both conditions: see this post.  

 

 

 

I just checked encephalitis but it doesn't seem to match my initial symptoms. I also had a CT scan which came back normal and when I read about encephalitis it is saying that a CT scan would show the abnormalities. Yes I am thinking about having DPD but when I check other people stories and symptoms they seem different to mine. Like I haven't really found one case which is exactly like mine. I also haven't researched into naltrexone but will do. Thanks

[Hip]

I just checked encephalitis but it doesn't seem to match my initial symptoms. I also had a CT scan which came back normal and when I read about encephalitis it is saying that a CT scan would show the abnormalities. 

 

 

It might also be viral meningitis, which is an infection of the meninges which surround the brain: this can also effect the brain. One of the symptoms of viral meningitis is a strong headache. 

 

And then there is the condition of anti-NMDA receptor encephalitis, which is an autoimmune attack on the NMDA receptors of the brain that can come on suddenly, which leads to neuropsychological symptoms. Anti-NMDA receptor encephalitis often causes the symptoms of psychosis, which you don't have. I am not sure if it can cause a condition like depersonalization.

 

 

 

Yes I am thinking about having DPD but when I check other people stories and symptoms they seem different to mine. Like I haven't really found one case which is exactly like mine.

 

It's usually a good idea to read several different descriptions or accounts of a psychiatric condition like depersonalization disorder, from different websites, because you will get a better feel for the condition after seeing several different accounts of it. 

 

Your symptoms seem to be similar to what psychiatrists call dissociative disorders, a category which includes depersonalization disorder, derealization disorder, but also includes several other dissociative conditions.

 

As the name suggests, in these dissociative disorders, you kind of dissociate with your own self or your environment: you create a mental distance between your inner self, and your own mind (and its emotions and memories), or your body, or the environment.

 

For example, you say you seem to observe things from a timeless perspective: that is a dissociative symptom. Your brain/mind is creating a distance between yourself and the ordinary temporal world, by viewing things from a more timeless, "outside" perspective. 

 

The disconnection from your past memories can be due to a dissociative condition called dissociative amnesia. 

 

Your inability to feel emotions: this is called blunted affect (or flat affect is there is no emotion at all), and can occur in depersonalization disorder, as well as in other mental health disorders.

 

All you symptoms have a dissociative quality to them, so you may be suffering from one or more dissociative mental conditions. 

 

 

Dissociative disorders are often associated with a period of trauma, so perhaps the splitting up with your girlfriend may have been a psychological factor that played a role in precipitating your current mental state. The general idea is that dissociation (= mental distancing) protects you from a painful or very unpleasant experience.

 

Sometimes dissociation even occurs in people who have car accidents: their body can be in extreme pain from their physical injuries, but the inner self of that person does not feel it, as they may go into an "out of body experience," where they view the whole car accident scene and their own injured body from afar. They dissociate with the pain and with the accident, as a sort of psychologically protective measure.  

 

On rare occasions, sometimes meditation can trigger mental health issues. So perhaps that might have been a contributory factor to your mental symptoms.

 

That's the psychological angle. But dissociative disorders and other mental health conditions often appear as a result of physical disease or a physical event in your body. The fact that you had this strong headache immediately before your mental symptoms started suggests that there was some physical event going on in your brain, such as a meningitis infection, etc. Meningitis can certainly lead to mental health disorders appearing afterwards, including dissociative disorders.

 

It sounds like you want to see a good psychiatrist to get some help. But I think you would be wise to choose a psychiatrist who has knowledge of how physical medical events in the brain such as meningitis, etc can cause psychiatric symptoms. Some psychiatrists just focus on the psychological factors that may be behind your mental symptoms, such as a stressful life experiences, etc; but they may not have much understanding of how physical factors in the brain can also cause psychiatric symptoms. You want a psychiatrist who understands both. 

 

 

 

​

I also haven't researched into naltrexone but will do. Thanks

 

Naltrexone you can buy here prescription-free, in case you cannot get a doctor's prescription. Though you may be better off getting help from a doctor or knowledgable psychiatrist to guide you through naltrexone treatment.

Edited by Hip, 02 January 2017 - 07:19 PM.

[Flow]

That also sounds like "half-enlightenment" so to speak, and im part joking here, but i've been into meditation as well and read lots of stuff about it. Some of the states of mind Andcrew describes can be direct effect of meditation practice. They are supposed to come up at certain stage and are sought after.

Yet, if all goes well, these states should feel like an opening into a new, deeper, wiser reality and bring serenity and peace. The danger of these altered states is that things may not always go as intended and leave one with disturbed perception, bordering on or fully into psychiatric disorder - because there is such a fine line between genuine spiritual experience and psychotic episode.

So this is just one perspective to consider, it well may be some of the physical reasons mentioned above.

But OP could google around "meditation + some of his symptoms" if he'd be interested to explore this possibility.

[Hip]

That also sounds like "half-enlightenment" so to speak, and im part joking here, but i've been into meditation as well and read lots of stuff about it. Some of the states of mind Andcrew describes can be direct effect of meditation practice. They are supposed to come up at certain stage and are sought after.

 

Well, mental states like the timeless, eternal perspective on reality can arise in some types of meditation, such as mindfulness-type meditations. When I did Zen and Buddhist mindfulness meditations myself many years ago, I would often get a hint of that timelessness, and it gave you a wonderful feeling of a poised elevated perspective on reality. 

 

However, most of the symptoms Andcrew is experiencing are not what you would hope to achieve in meditation — in fact most are the very opposite of what meditation normally produces.  

Edited by Hip, 03 January 2017 - 02:30 AM.

[Flow]

^^ Yes that was my point as well - resembling some higher meditative states, but not quite there.

[Hip]

Andcrew, do you currently have any sense of inflammation going on in your brain? This inflammation can be a subtle feeling, like a dull, slight sensation in your head — perhaps at the back of your head, where you headache was originally located? If there was an acute meningitis infection in your head, then there could be some lingering long term chronic inflammation still present in your brain.

 

If you do have a feeling of inflammation in your head (or even if you don't), you could try some supplements that can reduce brain inflammation. Those might then reduce you mental symptoms, because in recent years, new research is showing that brain inflammation (neuroinflammation) is associated with many mental conditions, including depression, bipolar, OCD, schizophrenia and ADHD. Thus these mental health conditions may well be due to the inflammatory effects of the immune system on the brain.

 

I suffered from severe generalized anxiety disorder after catching a viral infection which later also caused viral meningitis. Thereafter, I had severe anxiety all day long for seven years. The way I eventually managed to pretty much eliminate these severe anxiety symptoms was via a set of supplements that reduce brain inflammation. This anti-inflammatory approach to treating mental health symptoms is detailed in my two threads here:

 

Completely eliminated my severe anxiety symptoms with three supplements!

 

Non-Standard Anti-Anxiety Treatment

 

 

 

 

By the way, in this post and this post, I detail how the supplement N-acetyl-cysteine (plus buprenorphine), and the body-building hormone CJC-1925, made great improvements in people with the dissociative condition of depersonalization.

 

So those are two treatments that you could try. 

 

N-acetyl-cysteine is an oral supplement, so easy to take. CJC-1925 is a bit more complicated, as it requires reconstitution of the dry CJC-1925 hormone with bacteriostatic water, then subcutaneous injection (but if you search YouTube for "peptide reconstitution", you will see plenty of good videos giving instructions on reconstitution — body-builders do such injections all the time).

Edited by Hip, 03 January 2017 - 06:49 PM.

[Londonscouser]

I believe that your brain has shut down some parts as a defence mechanism.

 

This may be a way to prevent sadness being felt from the break up of your relationship. Or it is likely to be from the depersonalization.

 

 

Personally, I also believe you will recover within the next 2 years.

[andcrew]

 

Andcrew, do you currently have any sense of inflammation going on in your brain? This inflammation can be a subtle feeling, like a dull, slight sensation in your head — perhaps at the back of your head, where you headache was originally located? If there was an acute meningitis infection in your head, then there could be some lingering long term chronic inflammation still present in your brain.

 

If you do have a feeling of inflammation in your head (or even if you don't), you could try some supplements that can reduce brain inflammation. Those might then reduce you mental symptoms, because in recent years, new research is showing that brain inflammation (neuroinflammation) is associated with many mental conditions, including depression, bipolar, OCD, schizophrenia and ADHD. Thus these mental health conditions may well be due to the inflammatory effects of the immune system on the brain.

 

I suffered from severe generalized anxiety disorder after catching a viral infection which later also caused viral meningitis. Thereafter, I had severe anxiety all day long for seven years. The way I eventually managed to pretty much eliminate these severe anxiety symptoms was via a set of supplements that reduce brain inflammation. This anti-inflammatory approach to treating mental health symptoms is detailed in my two threads here:

 

Completely eliminated my severe anxiety symptoms with three supplements!

 

Non-Standard Anti-Anxiety Treatment

 

 

 

 

By the way, in this post and this post, I detail how the supplement N-acetyl-cysteine (plus buprenorphine), and the body-building hormone CJC-1925, made great improvements in people with the dissociative condition of depersonalization.

 

So those are two treatments that you could try. 

 

N-acetyl-cysteine is an oral supplement, so easy to take. CJC-1925 is a bit more complicated, as it requires reconstitution of the dry CJC-1925 hormone with bacteriostatic water, then subcutaneous injection (but if you search YouTube for "peptide reconstitution", you will see plenty of good videos giving instructions on reconstitution — body-builders do such injections all the time).

 

Hey thanks for your answer. I want to ask how can I test for brain inflammation and what supplements can I use to reduce it if I have it?

[Hip]

I want to ask how can I test for brain inflammation and what supplements can I use to reduce it if I have it?

 

I am not too sure about how to test for brain inflammation; I think the levels of inflammation may be quite subtle, and thus may require special techniques to detect.

 

In terms of supplements that combat brain inflammation, here are some:

 

N-acetyl-glucosamine 700 mg twice daily

Turmeric 1000 mg twice daily. Not to be confused with curcumin. Ref: 1

Flaxseed oil 15 ml (= 13 grams) once daily — the alpha linolenic acid in flaxseed oil combats brain inflammation. You can buy flaxseed oil in 500 ml or 1000 ml bottles on eBay (don't get the capsules, as they contain very little flaxseed oil). Ref: 1

Pyrroloquinoline quinone (PQQ) 20 mg once daily.

Edited by Hip, 04 January 2017 - 12:28 AM.

[psychejunkie]

 

any tl;dr version?

Sorry but I don't really understand what you mean by this. Can you elaborate? Do you mean what the doctors are saying?

 

it stands for "too long; didnt read", I meant if anyone can summarize the symptoms.

I got the time needed to read the whole post. I do agree with most people here. you have the symptoms of depersonalization/derealization + depression.

 

you should see a doctor and consult with him for taking SSRI + Naltrexone or SSRI + Modafinil

Edited by psychejunkie, 04 January 2017 - 07:48 AM.

[gamesguru]

All of them.

 

 

 

They won't treat it alone, they are very useful as augmentation with an SSRI or SNRI. Mostly due to the 5HT2A Antagonism.

Some people will enter a zombie/anhedonia state from one SSRI. brain chemistry changes with any of these medications.

Heck, people will enter this state from smoking weed once.

 

Treatment is the same. If all natural remedies have been attempted, broad range drugs are required.

 

 

Sadly I'm unconvince of much of this.

 

Marijuan (like antagonists) upregulates 5ht2a, but worsens anhedonia long-term.  And what about 5ht2c, it has been named by many sources as the most vital and pivotal receptor, having strong downstream effects on dopamine and gaba?   And dopamine is surely a big player in anhedonia.  so yeah, which ssris are 5ht2a antagonists?? or was that the srni or neuroleptic. i'm a bit confused here

 

now tell me.  if someones chemistry changes with any of these medications, and people may enter a zombie anhedonia state from one ssri, which particular med are you recommending? it would seem to me quite dangerous.  you've admitted certain meds may unfavorably alter the genome but go onto recommend largely similar meds? where's the consistency man??

the people who go into that state from weed once had serious predispositions. with ssris and neuroleptics, this phenomenon is much more wide spread.  it appears to be more likely to affect the very people who are supposed to benefit: sufferers negative/blunted symptoms.  on second thought, this may also be true of weed because of the incentive to self-medicate and whatnot.

and given the great profile of side effects seen with pharma stacks, i would advise a person to attempt natural remedies a second time before moving on

Edited by gamesguru, 05 January 2017 - 02:12 PM.

[PeaceAndProsperity]

 I have dysautonomia and chronic fatigue 

Consider trying vitamin C, selenium and creatine for chronic fatigue. The selenium does the most, followed by creatine, but for some reason the vitamin C seems to work well together with selenium.