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Story of a Day of Gluttony
Something about chronic sleep deprivation and bad produce was making me ravenously hungry. I ate bacon, eggs, brown rice porridge with blackstrap molasses, yogurt, herbal coffee substitute and half a sad orange.
Later in the day I went to the big mall. They let me use the computer at the computer store longer than usual. Normally at this mall I have some nice healthy Asian noodle soup for dinner, but I didn't want to. I went to the food court to get some pepperoni pizza. There were 45 mintues 'til closing time but they didn't have any pepperoni pizza left. Then I saw some good looking roast potatoes. They let me try one and it was good. My head started to turn in a different direction. I ordered Chicken Vesuvio, veggies and a salad. The cashier was so off-kilter, I had to ask for my change four times. They dish out some large side orders at this place. An older Asian guy sniggered at the amount of food I was ordering. I gave him a look. "This is what a meal looks like and this is what a woman looks like. You can't afford either one." Is what I thought to say to him later.
I enjoyed the meal. There were twice as many potatoes as I wanted. It seemed wrong to leave behind perfect roast potatoes so I got them down. After the meal I was jonesing for a diet coke but I had two gumballs instead.
I went to the bookstore. I sat down at a book display table in my wheelchair and dove in, reading all the books that I wanted. Conclusion: Scientologists suck and there's some people that can't write that wrote a book about a volcano. Some people chuckled when they saw me sitting at the table like that. The manager said I looked very comfortable. As much as I ever am.
A guy was wearing a black, baglike garment with his face made up like a skull. Turns out he stole something. Too on the nose? Towards the end of the night the music was off and the staff were razzing each other. Examples, said to a heterosexual male, "They probably got lice from you and your boyfriend." and "You like the kind who are rough around the edges, the kind who don't take a bath every day." Did someone put crack in their coffee? Normally I like it when they turn the music off.
I decided to have ice cream for dinner. I was dreaming about pink peppermint ice cream. I went to a supermarket. I knew they wouldn't have it but I just wanted them to. I got some Haagen Dazs butter pecan. There was an athletic Asian lady knocking pints of Haagen Dazs into her basket like a pirate raiding a rich man's liquor cabinet. When she saw me, she stopped abruptly and walked away.
At the cash register, a semi-homeless serial killer looking guy was buying two pounds of fresh berries and some cut up papaya. I spoke to him and he was perfectly pleasant. Just goes to show . . .
The Asian lady is probably the serial killer in the situation.
I came home. With the first bite of the Hagen Dazs I realized that it was chalky. I turned the container around and saw that Haagen Dazs was owned by Dreyers. Who owns them? Nestle, I guessed. Fuck you Nestle.* Nevertheless I ate the whole pint. Chalky or no, there were no bites of ice cream left behind.
* Dreyers actually is owned by Nestle.
