26 replies to this topic

[YoungSchizo]

I met a girl past year, well, I didn't actually met her, I've already known her my whole life but we were never close. Eventually, after many talks we got (love)feelings for each other, but because her parents are conservatieve and she and I are quite te opposite (which they know of me and a part of the reason why they will not accept me as her boyfriend and also because they already codemned me because of being schizophrenic) we never had the chance to meet face to face and she lives from a quite distance from me. Also, it seems clear to me that she suffers from (severe) anxiety, anxiety that she would be rejected by her family if she hooks up with me, anxiety of falling in real love and therefore anxiety of not wanting to change herself and her "world" perspectieve. I've noticed that because of her anxiety she handles her feelings for me the wrong way what eventually causes her to get "hysterical" in her mind and then she finds comfort in rejecting me, my feelings and her own feelings for me and hooks up with friends from whom she knows are in love with her but she knows she does not have feelings for them other than friendship (believe it or not, I'm just paranoid and hallucinate sometimes but in this case, she is crazier than me ). So, couple of weeks ago we had a fight because of this and I broke up contact with her for the time being so she could think if she wants to move forward with me and I could think if I still want something with her. (When she told me this, I noticed she handles and makes wrong decisions out of her anxiety which I recognized and for me that's not a valid reason to break up, at least, not yet.)

Anyway, the thing I'm working to is what happened past week and weekend, because of our unfortunate break-up we kinda "stalked" each other on the social media without communicating for real, she told me weeks ago she would visit a city near to me and she left a message past weekend on the social media which was "addressed" to me that she accepted me as her love (it's not my paranoia talking, I know 100% it was a message for me) but because I still needed time and already told her I was not going to persuit her to that city I just ignored the message (I guess it's a girl thing to give love messages this way instead of being straight up). However, when she arrived to the city and left a message on the social media that she was in that city I started to become extreme paranoid for some reason and started to hallucinate, out of all the crazyness (voices) that was going on in my head I wished her a nice stay in that city, also, with the thought to give her the feeling that I wasn't angry anymore because of the conflict we had. The thing that bothers me about this story is that I experienced the hallucinations and after my message that it all felt for me as if I was in straight "telephatic" contact with her the whole weekend because of the mutual feelings of love (yesterday I got so scared of love feelings and with the idea that we could read each others mind I upped all of my medication and today I laid in bed the whole day, straight up sick of that experience). For some reason I know (because next day she deleted her message on the social media and didn't give any updates anymore) and/or have the feeling that she left the city disappointed that I wasn't coming.

I don't know what happened in reality and/or what went through her mind (in reality) and/or if she really left the city (I'm 50% sure she did left) but I'm scared to contact her and ask about what she experienced and/or how her city trip was, well, I'm actually scared to hear that she left the city and I get some sort of a confirmation this "telepathic" shit really happened..

Any thoughts? Or, any thoughts about (mutual) love/feelings and the way it affects our brains and thoughts processes? (I need to get some sort of comfort that what I know/experienced is quite normal/rational when you have feelings for someone because I know her well enough to assume she left and/or I need some sort of comfort that telephaty isn't possible, even in a real love relationship/situation).

[Guardian4981]

I am not an expert in schizophrenic illness, but I believe it is associated with too much dopamine. "Love" even for the healthiest of people tends to increase dopamine. I would imagine this would thus cause an issue for those that are schizophrenic.

[YoungSchizo]

How about healthy people who are in love and/or know each other very well, are feelings real, I mean the "telepathic messages" that are "send" because of mutual feelings real or is that just a mindfuck that's created by dopamine or any other chemical.

Edited by YoungSchizo, 02 April 2014 - 02:26 AM.

[Galaxyshock]

How about healthy people who are in love and/or know each other very well, are feelings real, I mean the "telepathic messages" that are "send" because of mutual feelings real or is that just a mindfuck that's created by dopamine or any other chemical.

Those are subconscious predictions and assumptions of what is happening, projected to appear coming from outside as "messages".

[YoungSchizo]

Those are subconscious predictions and assumptions of what is happening, projected to appear coming from outside as "messages".

So they can considered as being fake/dream? That's a bit of my problem, my subconscious predictions always seems right, at least 9/10 when my subconscious calculates an outcome of something, in most cases about someone, either be a truth, lie or a manipulation it's right but at the same time being schizo it "overcalculates" a situation then it goes short circuit and I start to hallucinate, become paranoid and scares the shit out of me that I'm in, and they are, in telepathic contact with me and I with that person.. I know from experience the subconscious of others aren't accurately as developed as mine and neither do I react on what's happening in my subconscious because I'm not a stalker or a manipulator, so in my situation what can I do? How do I engage her, I mean, I told her my subconscious (feelings because I don't trust my brain I said) is far more developed then "healthy" people and all but can I just talk to her about what happens in my subconscious without scaring her or making her paranoid too?

Subconscious shit is confusing/scary

[lammas2]

You live too much in your subconscious mind. Start living in real life. You need to express your toughts and feelings before they accumulate in your head and you start repeating them over and over, resulting in schizophrenic tendencies. If you increase your communication with the outside world, you will have less time to be alone with your paranoid mind. Talk to her and say you're sorry for not meeting her in that city. Tell her that you would love to meet her some other time. You are not a mind reader and neither is she. Women love talking and they crave for verbal expression of feelings.

You two are made for each other. Go for it.

[YoungSchizo]

Yea, for some time I noticed expressing myself again in the real world really helps and I already planned the exact same thing you're saying (now my head is calmed, before it implodes again), it's actually her anxiety what's holding me back into my schizo-mind. Anyway, thank you very much for the heads-up, you gave me the last push to be quite confident and to be straight-up with her again!

Edited by YoungSchizo, 02 April 2014 - 10:14 PM.

[YoungSchizo]

How about I send her this whole message, this way she can learn me better and so she can read from another that she's actually an anxiety "nut-job" (I already told her the anxiety stuff but it didn't came through to her)..

Edited by YoungSchizo, 02 April 2014 - 10:44 PM.

[Galaxyshock]

Those are subconscious predictions and assumptions of what is happening, projected to appear coming from outside as "messages".

So they can considered as being fake/dream? That's a bit of my problem, my subconscious predictions always seems right, at least 9/10 when my subconscious calculates an outcome of something, in most cases about someone, either be a truth, lie or a manipulation it's right but at the same time being schizo it "overcalculates" a situation then it goes short circuit and I start to hallucinate, become paranoid and scares the shit out of me that I'm in, and they are, in telepathic contact with me and I with that person.. I know from experience the subconscious of others aren't accurately as developed as mine and neither do I react on what's happening in my subconscious because I'm not a stalker or a manipulator, so in my situation what can I do? How do I engage her, I mean, I told her my subconscious (feelings because I don't trust my brain I said) is far more developed then "healthy" people and all but can I just talk to her about what happens in my subconscious without scaring her or making her paranoid too?

Subconscious shit is confusing/scary

Your subconscious isn't necessary "more developed", but less repressed, the schizoid brain causes a REM-sleep like state to enter the wakefulness in synergy with a fight-or-flight reaction to stress. The key is not to supress it, but to recognize it, observe it and accept it. It can be a source for deep meaningfulness, creativity, connection and wisdom.

Add Panax Ginseng to your regimen if things seem overwhelming.

[YoungSchizo]

"The key is not to supress it, but to recognize it, observe it and accept it. It can be a source for deep meaningfulness, creativity, connection and wisdom."

I slowly learned to do this (when stable off course), I just hate to be a wise-guy sometimes (if I had kids it would've been great though), never really enjoyed that part of my personality, it creates quite some loneliness.

What does Panax do? I never tried it..

[lammas2]

The key is not to supress it, but to recognize it, observe it and accept it. It can be a source for deep meaningfulness, creativity, connection and wisdom.

While this seems like a reasonable thing to do, do you think a schizophrenic is capable of performing a rational self-analysis?

[Galaxyshock]

The key is not to supress it, but to recognize it, observe it and accept it. It can be a source for deep meaningfulness, creativity, connection and wisdom.

While this seems like a reasonable thing to do, do you think a schizophrenic is capable of performing a rational self-analysis?

I guess schizophrenia always comes with the problem of getting lost in the symptomatology and losing objectivity. But I think the objective self-analysis is still something to strive for, haven't the most functional well-known schizoids like John Nash kinda overcome the disorder... At least falling to a complete victim-mentality along with extreme self-suppression (negative symptoms) or through high-dose antipsychotics can't be any healthier.

What does Panax do? I never tried it..

Ginseng has broad range of therapeutic effects including anti-psychotic, anti-depressive, cognition-enhancing and increasing stamina and resistance to stress. Most schizophrenics report feeling better when using it and Ginseng is shown to lessen the need for antipsychotic-medication. It binds to NMDA, dopamine, serotonin, GABA receptors, increases cAMP and modulates HPA-axis.

Efficacy Study of Panax Ginseng to Boost Antipsychotics Effects in Schizophrenia

Short-term improvement in visual memory by a proprietary North American ginseng extract in stable schizophrenia

Effect of Ginsenosides on Memory Retention of Rats in Animal Models of Schizophrenia

Several pharmacological properties have been reported for ginsenosides or ginseng, including
effects on the central nervous system, tranquilizing and antipsychotic actions

[YoungSchizo]

I've learned to do so or I wouldn't be able to keep my head up in this world and with this girl, though, when too much stress hits haywire I'm still rational when speaking/acting, though, inside I've been plunged into a dark scary "empty" world (I sometimes compare it with a multiverse, like in theory that world might exists), when realizing there is no scientific evidence of it's existence I start to look and find myself again in my deep subconscious and live again in the real world.

Thanks for the links Galaxy, I might add it to my stack.

[Galaxyshock]

I've learned to do so or I wouldn't be able to keep my head up in this world and with this girl, though, when too much stress hits haywire I'm still rational when speaking/acting, though, inside I've been plunged into a dark scary "empty" world (I sometimes compare it with a multiverse, like in theory that world might exists), when realizing there is no scientific evidence of it's existence I start to look and find myself again in my deep subconscious and live again in the real world.

Thanks for the links Galaxy, I might add it to my stack.

Good to hear you've developed some insight to it. I hope Ginseng further improves your situation.

[YoungSchizo]

fuck it

Edited by YoungSchizo, 05 April 2014 - 09:58 AM.

[YoungSchizo]

the schizoid brain causes a REM-sleep like state to enter the wakefulness in synergy with a fight-or-flight reaction to stress. The key is not to supress it, but to recognize it, observe it and accept it. It can be a source for deep meaningfulness, creativity, connection and wisdom.

Add Panax Ginseng to your regimen if things seem overwhelming.

 

 

Okay, even though there is some truth to what I'm saying, like you're saying I wasn't suppressing it, but eventually, because of the emotional stress of the last 5-6 months shit hit the fan this last week! I monitored my symptoms and I realize my brain is totally out of synch , "the schizoid brain causes a REM-sleep like state to enter the wakefulness in synergy with a fight-or-flight reaction to stress", I'm in the "REM-sleep state and am not able to fight the stress anymore", I'm stabilizing myself with a high dosage of Conazepam which reconnects me to the real world/myself but I can't go outside because my cognition is totally fucked (believe it or not, benzo's are improving my cognition right now instead of declining it), I can't focus without it, the release of endorphin's by working out are backfiring and my pupils are (because of the Clonazepam) as big as my eyes and people at the gym notice this and it makes me more paranoid. I'm off to my parents for a good rest for some weeks and I need to "reset" this inflammation(?), synchronize part of my brains without antipsychotics (they don't work for my symptoms).

 

I'm gonna buy Panax, CBD and Minocycline try to synchronize.

 

Anyone other advice's?

[tritium]

Fuck love. Too much pain and hassle. Nowadays girls in America have become tomboys and feminist, making love difficult since they are essentially undermining a man's manhood.  I have had much better luck with girls from other countries where the male female roles are respected.

Edited by tritium, 10 April 2014 - 06:21 AM.

[Babychris]

Simple way to see things. Do Psycopathic people "normal" for you ? So...

[YoungSchizo]

Okay guys, I'm not with my head and "heart" by love right now, so a bit too late to give advise on that.

I need advise on how to stabilize/synch my brain again.

[Galaxyshock]

I'm off to my parents for a good rest for some weeks and I need to "reset" this inflammation(?), synchronize part of my brains without antipsychotics (they don't work for my symptoms).

 

Good, take some distance and see if the "dis-ease" resolves on its own. Spend time in nature if you can, consume warm beverages (chamomile tea is good) and focus on the now.

[YoungSchizo]

It's dissolving (faster than I guessed) on it's own, my "heart" (subconcious) is purifying everything that it does not recognize as it's own. Great feeling to set my legs back on earth!

[Flex]

How about healthy people who are in love and/or know each other very well, are feelings real, I mean the "telepathic messages" that are "send" because of mutual feelings real or is that just a mindfuck that's created by dopamine or any other chemical.

 

Well sometimes this happens to my friends, like hey I was just thinking of You just before You call me.

 

http://journal.front....00146/abstract

I´m not sure if this is reputable, but it seems at least to me.

 

I really dont want to fire up Your mindfuck ;-)

But I wanted to show that it may be possible because I hate it how some people are treated.

I know what its like when I told my Doc that I´ve get severe side effects from my Neuroleptics. They and others treated me from that point like a impaired Psychopath and every harmless sentence that I said was suspicious. Altough I was still at some points smarter than they, but those Cattles werent able to notice this.

 

So if You see an UFO or anything, look away and think about something nice to forget it as fast as possible, because everyone will think that You´re now completely mad  -.-

 

 

I guess this event was too stressful for You, which seems to has had overburden You.

You will allways find some people who dont give much about/ or are not aware of Your situation, therefore You have to take care on Yourself.

Edited by Flex, 20 April 2014 - 03:05 AM.

[YoungSchizo]

Yea, I believe there is some truth to what I'm saying, though, it's not the ultimate truth to act/react on, my thoughts-process/symptoms has to many flaws and that'll be delusional.. One guy said it very well while I was looking up what I was going through, my symptoms could very well be described as a result of physics, at least, till the point it's a full blown psychosis, then it doesn't make any sense anymore and it's pure disease, a dream/nightmare/fantasy.

 

Theory's I found today:

 

 

One thing that skeptics and believers alike can agree on is that the phenomenon is hard to reproduce on a consistent basis. You may have noticed occasionally that the harder you try to demonstrate something, the harder it is to do it. Because of this lack of consistently verifiable results, many theories have evolved over the years.

Some say that spirits or entities do the bidding of the person. Others say that it is a manifestation of ability that humans had in the far past. Some say that we are all born with them, but as we age and become more rational, they atrophy. 

A more popular belief of late is that people who exhibit some of these tendencies interact with information on a sub-atomic level. This may stem from part of the theory of quantum entanglement, (or as Einstein called it- “Spooky action at a distance”) which basically says that any two particles that have interacted before are each bound to other. What happens to one, regardless of distance, affects the other.

Other theories suggest that the natural emission of the body’s magnetic and electrical fields act like an antennae and are able to draw information in to it. By extension, some are able to access these fields or the fields of other objects/persons and are somehow able to use them to influence things.

 

http://www.armageddo...p_telepathy.php (This may not be a reliable source)

http://www.examiner....thy-is-possible (This one is)

 

Everyone with a good set of brains says I'm intelligent, though, at the end of the day, mine is still a decease of the brain which I have no control off. If, one day, balancing my neurotransmitters permanently is possible I would be really happy to lose my fucking "sixth sense".

 

Till then, I'm gonna play it save, get in the fuck-off mode, become an egoist and act like an unlovable ass. (Did I just described a narcissist? )  

[Galaxyshock]

This is pretty interesting read if you haven't stumbled upon it before:

http://en.wikipedia....f_consciousness

[YoungSchizo]

It's interesting indeed, but why does he keeps referring to the use of drugs? Haha.. a schizophrenic brain is always "psychedelic drugged" in that sense. 

 

I won't go in details, but I guess I belong to the higher stellar circuits (schizo or not, always have been), one reason to explain it all: I really don't understand "normal people", imho they're to friggin' shallow/dumb that it makes me go psychotic

Don't get me wrong, not that I'm happy with it and/or think I'm better than them (I make the same stupid mistakes as every human being), it's just more of a burden to live between the majority of people who are still in the un-evolved lower larval circuit.

 

This is off-topic but I once hypothesize: In order to find answers why we live, if there is a God, a after-live, heaven, hell or not or even more or just nothing, every human brain (the part where believe is) on the planet has to be connected with each in order to pinpoint all answers to the questions everyone once asks themselves at some point in their lives. (Crazy idea huh, I have a joker, being Schizo )  

[machete234]

How about healthy people who are in love and/or know each other very well, are feelings real, I mean the "telepathic messages" that are "send" because of mutual feelings real or is that just a mindfuck that's created by dopamine or any other chemical.

 

I have thoughts like that but I know they arent real.

I think its normal to have a feeling of a telepathic bond but seriously believing it is not so normal anymore, you say you are schizophrenic?

 

Fuck love. Too much pain and hassle. Nowadays girls in America have become tomboys and feminist, making love difficult since they are essentially undermining a man's manhood.  I have had much better luck with girls from other countries where the male female roles are respected.

Where is that?

Edited by machete234, 22 April 2014 - 12:57 PM.

[YoungSchizo]

Yes, right now when I'm almost totally stable I neither believe that telepathy is possible. However, when I'm unstable my/"their" thoughts/feelings speak, it kinda has a domino effect and it fires up/speeds up the parts of my brain that calculates what one is thinking, I'm kinda "able" to know what one is exactly thinking ("sixth sense"), though, what I don't realize when I'm unstable is that I/my brain isn't aware that my neurotransmitters are "forced" act differently, so when it's too late I think we are telepathically communicating. (Look at my http://www.longecity...way-to-improve/ thread for a better explanation how I experience it)

 

Also, look at the link above from the examiner.com, there are scientific reports that telepathy is possible between people who have a bond in a distressing situation. (There are more telepathy study's beneath the article I posted)