1 reply to this topic

[southsidee]

I was hanging out with my friend the other day and we got to talking about stress somehow. It was interesting to me how completely different we seem to cope with stressful situations.

 

He's the eternal "glass half full" kind of guy that automatically focuses on the positive in any situation

I'm the complete opposite. Even the slightest amount of stress makes me totally crumble with anxiety. I always focus on the worst case scenario. 

 

He has great social skills, never cares what other people think and lives in the moment at all times.

I constantly worry about what other people are thinking and I'm always in my head trying to figure any- and everything out in any given situation. 

 

From the looks of it we both have been like this all of our lives, or at least as long as we both can remember.

 

So what's the difference in people like me and people like him?

 

Has there been any research looking into why some people can handle stress better than others?

 

Is this type of behavior learned or is it just the way your neurological pathways are wired?
I do know my mom is exactly the same as me. Did constantly seeing her (over) reaction to stress influence the way my neurotransmitters work?

 

Is it hormone levels? Cortisol, norepinephrine?

 

Let's get a discussion going because I would love to learn more about this topic!

[ElixirOfLife]

I think part of the key to your answer is in your question. 

 

You said that this friend who is calm ".. never cares what other people think and lives in the moment at all times." You're saying two things here, and I think both are important to investigate further. So let's talk about why you mentioned those two things.

 

Reaction to stress can be based on mindfulness - which is simply a moment of inner space you create for yourself - or it can be based on your conditioned mind, which reacts based on habit. This space can be so easy to create - just take a deep breath and watch what happens!

 

When you find that you didn't want to react a certain way, but "just did it", a deeper part of you witnessed that, no?  Investigate who witnessed that, because that's who has the power to create space between reacting the way you want vs reacting based on habit.

 

There has been research which confirms that mindfulness/meditation is at least as effective as antidepressants. You know why? Because the power to create the inner space needed to change your reaction to stress is already inside everyone. This has been a recent awakening for me and there are a few books I could recommend if you want to know more.

 

 

Edited by ElixirOfLife, 04 May 2014 - 02:21 PM.