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Masturbation ruined life and cognition. Social Anxiety after masturbation. Please help.

masturbation cognition no fap brain chemicals dopamine

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#1 Joeyb221

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Posted 26 January 2016 - 04:01 AM


Hey guys,

 

This may sound weird, but I promise it is 100% true.

 

At the age of 17 just after I finished my high school exams I began to masturbate to relax a little, like I usually did, but to an excess I had never done before. I was doing it at least 7-10 times a day for a period of about 2 months (just before my uni started). The initial effects I had after a few days were complete numbness and emptiness in my head, meaning I couldn't think as critically and didn't feel as smart as I normally was. After 2 months however, something horrible happened, where I developed severe social anxiety and it was literally difficult to walk down the street, or in a shopping centre. I am now 22 and my symptoms have gotten better but I have not fully recovered. I believe I have a deficiency in either a brain chemical, amino acid or something like that. If anyone can help me and has had a similar problem, please help.

 

Thanks



#2 Wingless

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Posted 26 January 2016 - 05:06 AM

Were you watching porn too?


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#3 Joeyb221

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Posted 26 January 2016 - 05:26 AM

Yes I was.



#4 Wingless

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Posted 26 January 2016 - 05:41 AM

Excessive masturbation isn't that bad on it's own, but combined with porn it certainly can be.

 

There isn't much research on the effects porn has on our brains, but I'd check this out:

 

 

yourbrainonporn is another resource to check out, but a lot of it is hypothesis...we don't fully understand the implications of high-speed porn addiction just yet.


Edited by Wingless, 26 January 2016 - 05:46 AM.

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#5 Joeyb221

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Posted 26 January 2016 - 05:49 AM

Thank you for your help. If anyone else has anymore information, please share.



#6 Joeyb221

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Posted 26 January 2016 - 05:49 AM

Thank you for your help. If anyone else has anymore information, please share.



#7 maxwatt

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Posted 28 January 2016 - 09:06 PM

I was told to stop when I started to grow hair on my palms.

 

Seriously.  But I doubt if the effects will be permanent.  You do need to find other ways to channel your erotic needs.


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#8 onemanatatime

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Posted 28 January 2016 - 11:41 PM

http://thesupermandiet.com this guy also had chronic masturbation issues etc. wouldnt hurt to research if you have some heavy metal toxicity. best bet would probably be a hair mineral test, with someone who knows a little bit about the subject, it is a long shot, but maybe it's worthwhile...


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#9 Introspecta

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Posted 29 January 2016 - 10:55 PM

I made a thread a few years ago about how quitting masterbation and porn had euphoric and transformative effects. Search the forum and you'll find it. I'm sure you've also heard about the forum no fap on reddit right.

 

To this day I try to go a few weeks and usually find after 7 days my mood and energy levels have improved which is most likely related to the testosterone surge at day 7. Chronic masterbation seems to decrease Testosterone along with downregulating dopamine so when you quit you begin to feel much better.

 

The worst cases like yourself showed the greatest improvement and people that just did it to prove it wrong or to try it out but didn't have a chronic problem didn't have as good efffects probably because they already felt pretty good so the boost wasn't as noticeable.

 

I believe I had low testorone due to suboxone and daily masterbation just made it worse so when I quit and made it 30 days it had very transformative effects and I even met a girl in the first month. I hadn't been with a new girl after my ex in a few years so this was a big thing.

 

Everyone seemed to say I was glowing and seemed happier so there was def something going on.

 

My first trials I did have some aggression and trouble sleeping on day 7-13 then suddenly sleep became easier and the aggression toned down.

 

Exercise and good health habits seem to synergize with no masterbation much more than if you are to do them alone. Everything just seemed to work better and go better while doing this practice. I don't recommend going more than a few months though. Its best to release and then you can enjoy the testosterone spike again.. Problem is if you choose to do it there is a chance you'll get hooked back into doing it daily so its a difficult thing to balance. Some people have to quit indefinetely because there problem became so bad.

 

I say just try to make 7 days and see how you feel. Then keep trying to go longer and longer and just remember that there is a good chance you will begin to feel really good the longer you go. It reminded me of taking a low dose of adderall. I was pretty wired and awake and high on life.


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#10 Joeyb221

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Posted 30 January 2016 - 09:46 PM

Anyone else with experiences or knowledge on the topic, please feel free to share.



#11 Wingless

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Posted 30 January 2016 - 10:05 PM

Anyone else with experiences or knowledge on the topic, please feel free to share.

 

I can say from personal experience that while this subject seems scientific, it's actually poorly understood right now. Why? Because there are no control groups. Today there are virtually no young men in their early 20s who did not grow up alongside high-speed internet porn. I'm not implying they were all addicts or something, rather that 99.9% of men in 1st world countries (and a good portion of men in 3rd world countries as well) have been exposed to it since a young age. Which means we can't identity the effects it has on these groups of people since there is no control group.

 

If everyone from age 5 smoked cigarrettes, we'd think it was normal to get lung cancer when you're older. We tend to make the correlation/causation mistake very often too.

 

There are a lot of factors here...just don't trust everything you read about it, and certainty don't trust any self-proclaimed "sex experts" because most of them have little to no understanding of sexual arousal and how it relates to dopamine reward pathways.

 

I would suggest you run your own experiments and just observe what happens.

 

I can't see a single reason why excessive masturbation to porn could ever be a good thing, however, so do what you can to diminish the behavior as best you can. You may reach a point where you have "eyelid porn" as I've heard it before, which can happen even months after cessation of porn watching. This is one of the reasons that porn addiction is argued to be one of the most difficult addictions to overcome; even though this is a behavioral addiction, that doesn't mean it can't be as powerful as a drug.


Edited by Wingless, 30 January 2016 - 10:09 PM.

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#12 Joeyb221

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Posted 30 January 2016 - 10:25 PM

Thanks man, I agree with you considering that internet pornography is a relatively new phenomena and all the textbooks that psychology/psychiatry students get in

college, as well as everything thats been researched, is pretty damn old. However, I know for a fact that there are a lot of people that have had similar problems so I want to 

just see what happened to them and what they did to get better. Nofap is a big thing nowadays and its interesting to see. 

 

So please share your experiences. Thanks.



#13 Wingless

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Posted 31 January 2016 - 01:15 AM

Thanks man, I agree with you considering that internet pornography is a relatively new phenomena and all the textbooks that psychology/psychiatry students get in

college, as well as everything thats been researched, is pretty damn old. However, I know for a fact that there are a lot of people that have had similar problems so I want to 

just see what happened to them and what they did to get better. Nofap is a big thing nowadays and its interesting to see. 

 

So please share your experiences. Thanks.

 

I'm 24 now and I found out when I was around 18. My experiences are intricate. I made a detailed post of my experiences on http://www.yourbrain...alanced.com/,  I can link you to the post if you want.

 

But in short I'm going to remind you that everyone's experiences are unique.

 

Write things down, act like it's a scientific experiment. Just try going a few weeks of quitting it all cold turkey, and be mindful of how it's effecting you.

 

I have largely overcome my porn watching habits, it's definitely doable. There will be a never ending cycle of not feeling like you've "recovered" properly, however. This is because the nofap ideology is really stupid, it gives the impression that giving up porn/masturbation will fix all the problems in your life. It's not that simple.

 

Overcoming the porn addiction did not have a dramatic impact on my social anxiety or depression, which makes me realize that there are other causes. I don't think there is a single permanent solution to the problems you described in the OP, this may be a sign of many other issues.

 

A lot of these people think that porn/masturbation is the cause of all of their problems, and they make their entire life about "fixing themselves" and think that porn/masturbation is some evil behavior that have to conquer. Your ego may end up desiring a strong sense of control over your life, and need to be able to accept your situation and stop trying to change everything.

 

 

But all hope is not lost. It used to be a huge part of my life in my teen years, darkest times of my life, but nowadays my interest in porn has become very diminished.


Edited by Wingless, 31 January 2016 - 01:21 AM.

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#14 Joeyb221

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Posted 31 January 2016 - 08:11 PM

Please feel free to share your experiences or knowledge about the topic.



#15 contraband

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Posted 01 February 2016 - 10:15 PM

Question: why do you link the development of your symptoms with excessive masturbation? It seems possible that they're related, but what if they're not? The only concrete common link seems to be that your symptoms and excessive masturbation seemed to develop around the same time. 

 

Could you have had an unrelated underlying mood disorder/anxiety disorder that developed during adolescence (which is a very stressful period - look at the rates of depression among university students)?  

 

It seems to me that speculating about all the different things that could have contributed to how you got to your current state may be a fruitless exercise. Too many variables. Instead, if you remain forward-looking, you can come up with a plan about how to masturbate less (if you're still masturbating excessively), improve your mood with positive lifestyle changes, get a physical exam and ask a physician about different conditions that could impair your functioning. Some example are: thyroid disease, vitamin B12 deficiency, etc.

 

If we treat excessive pornography use as an addiction just like any other addiction, then many of the same ideas apply: it's easier to recover with support (from a support group, therapist or psychologist), it's easier if you're committed to changing and have familiarized yourself with different strategies to mitigate addiction. I"m an ex-smoker, and so drinking coffee in the morning was always a big trigger for me. I'm sure there are analogous triggers that prompt you.

 

The point of this post was just to say: don't give up, think about constructive ways you can build yourself back up, leverage social support as much as possible. It's obviously much harder to be optimistic about these things when you're in the thick of it. 


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#16 paolo x

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Posted 02 February 2016 - 05:14 PM

find a girl


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#17 platypus

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Posted 02 February 2016 - 07:16 PM

Mane young people masturbated several times a day even before the internet. Please don't get the idea that masturbation is bad, because usually it isn't. 


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#18 Joeyb221

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Posted 02 February 2016 - 10:36 PM

There's a massive difference between masturbating 2-3 times a day and 7-8. It begins to interfere with your brain chemicals due to the nature of orgasm.


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#19 Wingless

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Posted 03 February 2016 - 03:17 AM

Mane young people masturbated several times a day even before the internet. Please don't get the idea that masturbation is bad, because usually it isn't. 

 

Masturbation to high-speed internet porn is much more significant than excessive masturbation. The average teenage boy has probably already seen more naked women than any man (before the age of high speed porn) has seen in several lifespans.


Edited by Wingless, 03 February 2016 - 03:20 AM.

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#20 platypus

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Posted 03 February 2016 - 10:43 AM

 

Mane young people masturbated several times a day even before the internet. Please don't get the idea that masturbation is bad, because usually it isn't. 

 

Masturbation to high-speed internet porn is much more significant than excessive masturbation. The average teenage boy has probably already seen more naked women than any man (before the age of high speed porn) has seen in several lifespans.

 

Yes, but why is that necessarily a problem? How did you benefit from quitting porn?


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#21 Baten

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Posted 04 February 2016 - 08:54 AM

Yes, but why is that necessarily a problem? How did you benefit from quitting porn?

I read a questionnaire posed to a group of high class escorts, and apparently the big porn watchers were aggressive, brutes, machos who saw women more like objects and wanted more than anything to pay to try extreme things (which they picked up through their porn consumption). The less avid porn watcher just wanted to get laid.

 

Porn does things to your imagination, stimulation, dopamine sensitivity. People who keep saying 'porn can't possibly hurt you' just don't want to see the problem. For many men it is quite simply not healthy, noticeably for those with an addictive personality. That's not to say that others can learn some things from porn and only watch very occasionally and have zero disadvantages from watching it. It's just not the norm; not anymore.


Edited by Baten, 04 February 2016 - 08:55 AM.

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#22 platypus

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Posted 04 February 2016 - 09:20 AM

Most people are sexual beings, that's why it's difficult to stop having sex or masturbating. Surely watching porn hours a day every day is detrimental, no question about that. On the other hand, if you are going to masturbate anyway, it is totally ok to use visually stimulating imagery for that purpose. 


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#23 Wingless

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Posted 05 February 2016 - 03:29 AM

 

 

Mane young people masturbated several times a day even before the internet. Please don't get the idea that masturbation is bad, because usually it isn't. 

 

Masturbation to high-speed internet porn is much more significant than excessive masturbation. The average teenage boy has probably already seen more naked women than any man (before the age of high speed porn) has seen in several lifespans.

 

Yes, but why is that necessarily a problem? How did you benefit from quitting porn?

 

ED

 


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#24 Argos

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Posted 05 February 2016 - 04:12 AM

The problem stems from subconscious GUILT and SHAME programmed into your brain at an early age.
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#25 themadscientist

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Posted 05 February 2016 - 11:15 PM

It amazes me that this thread is still on the first page.


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#26 Wingless

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Posted 06 February 2016 - 01:41 AM

It amazes me that this thread is still on the first page.

 

Well there is a lot of psuedoscience involved, and most people don't really know what the fuck they're talking about. These sort of topics get a lot of controversy.


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#27 gamesguru

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Posted 06 February 2016 - 10:56 PM

Look, porn is a supernormal stimulus.  You have access to tier 1 girls, in the kinkiest positions, at your fingertip, any moment of the day.

 

This is confirmed by my personal experience.  I've been porn free since Winter 2014, and can definitely say I masturbate less (7x vs 5x weekly), and have fewer urges... and those urges that I do have are more "natural" and "controllable".  They aren't some fucking supernormal cocaine stimulus, they're mild and directed at girls I see in person, girls who find me funny, girls I have a chance with, girls I haven't seen naked...  And once they reject me (95% of the time), I stop jerking to them and move onto new girls.  I skip a couple days a week, about 5x.

 

Another thing I noticed with porn, the latency was ridiculously low, like 2 minutes, sometimes 30 seconds.  I'm one who thinks sex is NOT all about the orgasm, so it's nice to have a latency closer to 15 minutes (which you can get if you give up porn).  Sometimes I even go over 30 minutes.

 

One more point, don't just go jerking to facebook pictures of pretty girls.  You can look at these girls, you can even touch yourself a bit while you do... but the point is to file them into memory, not to actively jerk to them.  Play with your mental imagery, in a dark room, with no electronic devices.

 

This is how cavemen masturbated, to mental imagery, relying on their own devised fantasies... not profile pictures, not crazy intense kinky pornos, not to a girl sitting in front of you, but to one you have an idea or image of in your head.

 

But that's just my opinion, take it with a grain of salt.


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#28 Wingless

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Posted 06 February 2016 - 11:19 PM

Look, porn is a supernormal stimulus.  You have access to tier 1 girls, in the kinkiest positions, at your fingertip, any moment of the day.

 

This is confirmed by my personal experience.  I've been porn free since Winter 2014, and can definitely say I masturbate less (7x vs 5x weekly), and have fewer urges... and those urges that I do have are more "natural" and "controllable".  They aren't some fucking supernormal cocaine stimulus, they're mild and directed at girls I see in person, girls who find me funny, girls I have a chance with, girls I haven't seen naked...  And once they reject me (95% of the time), I stop jerking to them and move onto new girls.  I skip a couple days a week, about 5x.

 

Another thing I noticed with porn, the latency was ridiculously low, like 2 minutes, sometimes 30 seconds.  I'm one who thinks sex is NOT all about the orgasm, so it's nice to have a latency closer to 15 minutes (which you can get if you give up porn).  Sometimes I even go over 30 minutes.

 

One more point, don't just go jerking to facebook pictures of pretty girls.  You can look at these girls, you can even touch yourself a bit while you do... but the point is to file them into memory, not to actively jerk to them.  Play with your mental imagery, in a dark room, with no electronic devices.

 

This is how cavemen masturbated, to mental imagery, relying on their own devised fantasies... not profile pictures, not crazy intense kinky pornos, not to a girl sitting in front of you, but to one you have an idea or image of in your head.

 

But that's just my opinion, take it with a grain of salt.

 

You make an interesting point about the mental imagery. But if you've been watching porn your whole life, that's all you'll see when you close your eyes too.

 

If you can focus purely on the physical sensations, that's ideal, but difficult.


Edited by Wingless, 06 February 2016 - 11:31 PM.


#29 Wingless

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Posted 07 February 2016 - 12:59 AM

There is a fantastic podcast released just a week ago which discusses everything mentioned in this thread.

 

There are some very disturbing statistics mentioned in this.

 

http://smartdrugsmar...porn-addiction/


Edited by Wingless, 07 February 2016 - 01:03 AM.


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#30 gamesguru

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Posted 07 February 2016 - 02:32 AM

It's primarily about fantasizing, with the hopes of one day living it out.  The physical sensations are secondary.

Mental imagery can also partly explain why you shout another lover's name with a new one.

 

Saying you will only see porn behind closed eyes if you've watched lots of porn, but suddenly go noporn and take to facebook stalking, is like saying if you've only done acid, but suddenly quit and take to cannabis, you'll still be addicted to acid, have acid-like visuals, and be reminded only of acid-like experiences.  When experience dictates you'll forget all about acid and be focused on the cannabis lifestyle.  I can assure you, having watched plenty of porn in my day, I have no problem summoning fantastic images with girls I've seen in person or long-ago facebook stalked.


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