a one-size fits all approach wont' work here. do to the variable and ingrained nature, a hormonal approach is recommended. they are typically the root cause, dispersing effects across multiple neurotransmitter systems and inducing a systemic deficit which is difficult to fix with a band-aid approach.
This article reviews the central hypothesis that stress hormones released during emotionally arousing experiences activate noradrenergic mechanisms in the BLA, resulting in enhanced memory for those events. Findings from experiments using rats have shown that the memory-modulatory effects of the adrenocortical stress hormones epinephrine and glucocorticoids involve activation of beta-adrenoceptors in the BLA. In addition, both behavioral and microdialysis studies have shown that the noradrenergic system of the BLA also mediates the influences of other neuromodulatory systems such as opioid peptidergic and GABAergic systems on memory storage. Other findings indicate that this stress hormone-induced activation of noradrenergic mechanisms in the BLA regulates memory storage in other brain regions.
interestingly, the effect of the amygdala changes during the course of puberty. as a child it does one thing, as an adult totally another[1].
for men high test increases amygdala reactivity, while low test diverts its output from the thalamus (benign) to the orbitalfrontal cortex (aggression). unless you're already doing everything in our testosterone thread, i suspect the average individual could use a little boost. i'm not sure how this affects women, but for estrogen appears bad for both sexes[2], [3].
testosterone may also correct things by increasing hippocampus size (which is of course decreased in borderline personality). the increased size of the hippocampus is also believed to explain testosterone's anti-anxiety effect. how much of this is an indirect result of DHT and would vary depending on the individual, i cannot say. but it generally appears quite good.
thyroid hormone and melatonin also play a role. you can take bacopa, and, well, melatonin for that. please keep an eye on yourself tho
as a closing note.. it's unfortunate these hormones are so often also effects of our life situations, e.g. stress, depression. so the requirement of digging yourself out of the hole, of reshaping your attitude and welcoming success once more.. these changes are unlikely occur at all.. it becomes a catch-22 and the subject remains stuck spinning his or her wheels; often a little (pharmacologic) luck is required to help things along